Haiku photography and chaos theory at the same time. Impressive, but rather pointless.
You just keep burying your head in the sand, mister. See what good comes of hiding behind metaphors. *shaking head*
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Haiku photography and chaos theory at the same time. Impressive, but rather pointless.
You just keep burying your head in the sand, mister. See what good comes of hiding behind metaphors. *shaking head*
In Texas they hide behind Megaphors.
First, above all one must have something they desperately need to say.
Second, one must recognize that faerie dust, entropy, and the Second Law are not particularly effective vehicles for saying it.
If Steinbeck hadn't taken his own typing seriously, would you have read it seriously? Would anyone?
Ken
and the tree fell on the bear in the woods who was uh, indisposed...preoccupied with doing what bears do in the woods
the mat goes in the frame
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i have some very serious monkeys
so serious they seem to put
some serious looking humans to shame
but i dont think they know the scheimphloug theory
which could problematic if the million monkeys were
tweating a textbook on large format photography.
ive got the million ebook on leica and graphlex photography
much better than the mogan and morgan version...
I'm sure by this point he has forgotten what he met her for.
Yup, strawberry fields forever.
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nope i remember her, and remember exactly why i met her
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ken and whomever else might have been offended by my million monkey reference as a response to thiis comment.
i didnr realize this was a serious comment and i answered i jest, and i guess i should have finally after 17-18 pages actually said something serious about photography and the use of a camera,, any camera.
i couldnt agree more with what you have to say ken. if you dont have anything to say there is no point in saying anything... i have really had nothing to say this whole thread that was important, and i am sure a million monkeys could have tweated something more than stupid asinine and idiotic remarks
about someone, anyone who is utterly clueless, with more money than brains who wastes time and energy
trying to find a magic bullet through buying 30000.00 worth of photography stuff and not even doing any of the photography themselves but through some surrogate who makes the exposure, processes the film and
scans the images at some ungodly resolution just to reduce it to 72 dpi after the dust is removed.
none of this was done to slight anyone in particular, or people interested in the very best equipment they can afford to use, and spending time creating photographs they enjoyed making.
hopefully one might have realized the whole thing was a joke from the beginning ... and nothing more or less than that.
if not, well i am searching for the tweating monkeys tomorrow maybe they can tweat this that much better
Have you ever heard of Amazitol? It's a new developer based on dragon spit and blood from twelve virgins.
You get edge effects when you use it with blender style processors that agitate the tank in a figure 12 pattern. It's really effective.
You get edge effects when you use it with blender style processors that agitate the tank in a figure 12 pattern. It's really effective.
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I could take this thread in a completely new direction with my response, but it's best that I keep the OP on topic.
... Oh please, don't hold back. We want to make sure we delve into every single little hole we can dig into, because the magic in photography lies in developers and grain peeping with flatbed scanners.
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no topic here dinesh
im done with the magic bullets
since the formulary b/s and artcraft are out
of dragons spit and virgin blood ..
it looks like i am stuck using coffee and ansco 130
.. not sure why anyone would use this stuff
the film prints good scanns good enlarges/reduces good
and is foolproof .. there has to be something more complicated than this ...
im done with the magic bullets
since the formulary b/s and artcraft are out
of dragons spit and virgin blood ..
it looks like i am stuck using coffee and ansco 130
.. not sure why anyone would use this stuff
the film prints good scanns good enlarges/reduces good
and is foolproof .. there has to be something more complicated than this ...
I am so confused. This thread DOES sound like the deleted thread. :crazy:
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steve
its kind of a metaphysical thing
when you pick up 4 pouches of the same kind of frozen vegetables and have 11 other
things at the 12 items or less lane
its up to the cashier to decide of it is 15 items you have or ... 12
sometimes things arent what they seem ..
Does this mean you're not going to sell the Howlertech? I would really like it cause I have a line on a Howlandflex in a $1 bin. I have heard from a reliable source that using them together with a few grains of salt increases the apturance of the flayrod for the best price at any prints.
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maybe, but i am really into scrapbooking,
and this was the skanmachine i was recommended
one the-site. i have 100deckle edged skizzers too
and a plant press it would be a shame to sell tje machine and keep everything else
after all i make giant pages pase up like a newspaper
32x40 and make a stat camera image and then scan the negative
and print it out by lazer 8.5x11 the pages look great.
i have a friend on the kitty kat site that might want to sell hers ...
and this was the skanmachine i was recommended
one the-site. i have 100deckle edged skizzers too
and a plant press it would be a shame to sell tje machine and keep everything else
after all i make giant pages pase up like a newspaper
32x40 and make a stat camera image and then scan the negative
and print it out by lazer 8.5x11 the pages look great.
i have a friend on the kitty kat site that might want to sell hers ...
I see. Meta. Develop the developer. Very slick.
We need developers for our developers.
We need developers for our developers.
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It is the Cat Hair that is missing!!
This took a lot of time but your problem has finally been solved.
The neighborhood here pulled together after I explained the severity of the problem and they have been working on it for several days. Not much time each but several days nonetheless. Any deviation from this complex process may result in complete success.
Expose a sheet of 11x14 direct positive paper (Ilford is your best choice but you can make your own if you are so inclined) in your 11x14 camera using a 35mm Summicron in a Nooky. This will require a special lens board made from a Quaker Oats box, use only the Old Fashioned box since the Quick Oats box doesn't have enough stamina.
Develop the paper normally using Caffenol or Dee76 or Peero or any other developer you have been wanting to try out. Once the paper has been developed fill your bathtub with fresh water and drop the paper in for washing. Don't worry about the fixing step, as you will soon see this is not critical to our process. Now, go next door and get your neighbor's two cats. (I told you the neighborhood worked together on this project.) For this next step you will need a sliding glass door installed on your tub. If this is not available you may want to have an ambulance on standby.
Carry the cat carefully into the bathroom by the scruff of his neck (this is how his momma used to carry him so he will feel loved and be lulled into a relaxed state.) Now, carefully lift him over the top of the sliding glass door and drop him into the fresh water. Don't worry, he will not be hurt by this. Everyone knows cats land on their feet. The water, though harmless, will likely stress him a little bit and he may make some noises.
Once the noise and agitation in the tub has dropped to a dull roar your print is almost certainly washed and you can now open the sliding glass door. I recommend that you have the bathroom door open and that you stand on the toilet when you do this. Wearing shorts and flip-flops is also not a good idea. Take my word for this as several neighbors required stitches while we were perfecting this step.
Once the cat has left the house it is now safe to retrieve your paper negative. It is likely that it will be in many pieces at this point so you will need a 11x14 poster board and a can of 3M Adhesive Spray. Spray the board and mount the pieces on the board. It is not critical that they be reassembled as they were prior to the washing step. In fact, this may turn out to be quite difficult. Once all the pieces you can find are stuck to the mounting board lie it in the bottom of the tub. Drain the water first of course. We forgot this step once and had to start all over again. The hardest part was catching that cat again.
Now, go retrieve the 2nd cat. Remember the 2nd cat? Don't feel too bad if you lost him, we lost several 2nd cats as well. You didn't believe me when I told you this took quite awhile did you? Anyway, hopefully you have the 2nd cat because it will most likely be tough to find the first cat. Put on some protective clothing. A welding helmet, leathers, heavy canvas jackets and elbow length leather gloves are a good start. Carry the 2nd cat into bathroom and rub his fur vigorously, and lovingly, while holding the cat over your drying masterpiece in the tub. The 2nd cat will almost enjoy this loving massage but may still want to leave the bathroom at this time. Actually it is pretty likely he will have wanted to leave the minute he saw you in your protective clothing. Especially after all the caterwauling that went on in that same bathroom a little while earlier.
Once you are done with this, carry the picture (I am using that term pretty loosely at this point) and lay it on the glass of your flatbed scanner. Actually, I recommend you use someone else's scanner for this. Preferably someone who either loves you unconditionally...or already hates your guts...as it is not guaranteed that the adhesive will be completely cured and the scanner may not be cleanable afterwards. While you have it on the scanner go ahead and take several scans. Feel free to change the resolution, move the black and white points on the histogram and even change from black and white to color for each scan.
Now, fire up your HDR software. I have no recommendations for you. In fact, you may want to try several different software versions to see which does the worst job. Using the software combine at least 5 random scans into an HDR image. Now open Photoshop...or GIMP...or just about any other image editing software since what happens now is pretty low tech...and down rez your image to 4x6 at 360dpi. Or maybe ppi. I can never remember which is which. Now, open your browser and send your file to Wally World and ask for an 11x14 print on Kodak Alaris paper. The Kodak Alaris paper is critical as we need to support Kodak. I know this has to be true as i have read this on several different forums. If this part is difficult for you to understand I completely understand. Just call your 12 year old grand daughter or grandson. They will have no problem. In fact they may have additional ideas at this point. Mine did.
Once you receive your print from Wally World cut it carefully into 4x6 rectangles. Voila...you can now relax with a cup of coffee. You have made a perfect image. It will have grain galore, undeniable contrast, beautiful tonality, and it will have that special quality that you have been missing to this point. Your love of analogue photography will be reinvigorated.
Don't forget to mail one of the 4x6 rectangles to the New York MOMA. Oh...you might want to give one to each of the two cats...if you can find them. Also the neighbor with the scanner. And your Mom.
But don't send any to me, I already have several and am finding it increasingly difficult to get rid of them. I may try E-Bay in Great Britain or Australia.
This took a lot of time but your problem has finally been solved.
The neighborhood here pulled together after I explained the severity of the problem and they have been working on it for several days. Not much time each but several days nonetheless. Any deviation from this complex process may result in complete success.
Expose a sheet of 11x14 direct positive paper (Ilford is your best choice but you can make your own if you are so inclined) in your 11x14 camera using a 35mm Summicron in a Nooky. This will require a special lens board made from a Quaker Oats box, use only the Old Fashioned box since the Quick Oats box doesn't have enough stamina.
Develop the paper normally using Caffenol or Dee76 or Peero or any other developer you have been wanting to try out. Once the paper has been developed fill your bathtub with fresh water and drop the paper in for washing. Don't worry about the fixing step, as you will soon see this is not critical to our process. Now, go next door and get your neighbor's two cats. (I told you the neighborhood worked together on this project.) For this next step you will need a sliding glass door installed on your tub. If this is not available you may want to have an ambulance on standby.
Carry the cat carefully into the bathroom by the scruff of his neck (this is how his momma used to carry him so he will feel loved and be lulled into a relaxed state.) Now, carefully lift him over the top of the sliding glass door and drop him into the fresh water. Don't worry, he will not be hurt by this. Everyone knows cats land on their feet. The water, though harmless, will likely stress him a little bit and he may make some noises.
Once the noise and agitation in the tub has dropped to a dull roar your print is almost certainly washed and you can now open the sliding glass door. I recommend that you have the bathroom door open and that you stand on the toilet when you do this. Wearing shorts and flip-flops is also not a good idea. Take my word for this as several neighbors required stitches while we were perfecting this step.
Once the cat has left the house it is now safe to retrieve your paper negative. It is likely that it will be in many pieces at this point so you will need a 11x14 poster board and a can of 3M Adhesive Spray. Spray the board and mount the pieces on the board. It is not critical that they be reassembled as they were prior to the washing step. In fact, this may turn out to be quite difficult. Once all the pieces you can find are stuck to the mounting board lie it in the bottom of the tub. Drain the water first of course. We forgot this step once and had to start all over again. The hardest part was catching that cat again.
Now, go retrieve the 2nd cat. Remember the 2nd cat? Don't feel too bad if you lost him, we lost several 2nd cats as well. You didn't believe me when I told you this took quite awhile did you? Anyway, hopefully you have the 2nd cat because it will most likely be tough to find the first cat. Put on some protective clothing. A welding helmet, leathers, heavy canvas jackets and elbow length leather gloves are a good start. Carry the 2nd cat into bathroom and rub his fur vigorously, and lovingly, while holding the cat over your drying masterpiece in the tub. The 2nd cat will almost enjoy this loving massage but may still want to leave the bathroom at this time. Actually it is pretty likely he will have wanted to leave the minute he saw you in your protective clothing. Especially after all the caterwauling that went on in that same bathroom a little while earlier.
Once you are done with this, carry the picture (I am using that term pretty loosely at this point) and lay it on the glass of your flatbed scanner. Actually, I recommend you use someone else's scanner for this. Preferably someone who either loves you unconditionally...or already hates your guts...as it is not guaranteed that the adhesive will be completely cured and the scanner may not be cleanable afterwards. While you have it on the scanner go ahead and take several scans. Feel free to change the resolution, move the black and white points on the histogram and even change from black and white to color for each scan.
Now, fire up your HDR software. I have no recommendations for you. In fact, you may want to try several different software versions to see which does the worst job. Using the software combine at least 5 random scans into an HDR image. Now open Photoshop...or GIMP...or just about any other image editing software since what happens now is pretty low tech...and down rez your image to 4x6 at 360dpi. Or maybe ppi. I can never remember which is which. Now, open your browser and send your file to Wally World and ask for an 11x14 print on Kodak Alaris paper. The Kodak Alaris paper is critical as we need to support Kodak. I know this has to be true as i have read this on several different forums. If this part is difficult for you to understand I completely understand. Just call your 12 year old grand daughter or grandson. They will have no problem. In fact they may have additional ideas at this point. Mine did.
Once you receive your print from Wally World cut it carefully into 4x6 rectangles. Voila...you can now relax with a cup of coffee. You have made a perfect image. It will have grain galore, undeniable contrast, beautiful tonality, and it will have that special quality that you have been missing to this point. Your love of analogue photography will be reinvigorated.
Don't forget to mail one of the 4x6 rectangles to the New York MOMA. Oh...you might want to give one to each of the two cats...if you can find them. Also the neighbor with the scanner. And your Mom.
But don't send any to me, I already have several and am finding it increasingly difficult to get rid of them. I may try E-Bay in Great Britain or Australia.
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thanks pioneer
it sounds like a plan, but unfortunately i am deathly allergic to cars,
and if i take benedryl i might fall asleep at the switch.
are there any other domicile pets that might work?
ive tried something similar but after the film washed clean / archival
soaked the negatives in a 40gallon tank
the snails loved them, the fish nibbled on them
the coolieloach snuggled with them
and i wetmount scannned then on the howlertech
using the fishes "slimecoat" as mounting fluid.
gave me ok contrast and michrocontrast and stain
but the grain pattern looked like fish scales.
oh well.
if i could figure out a way not to be allergic to cats i would take your recommendation
but ...
gave jeeves his walking paper after i sold the iron lung on evay,
and might just be to the bare essentials now ...
maybe ill stop with the camera altogether, its starting to be a complete distraction.
plenty of photographic things to be done without a camera anyways.
it sounds like a plan, but unfortunately i am deathly allergic to cars,
and if i take benedryl i might fall asleep at the switch.
are there any other domicile pets that might work?
ive tried something similar but after the film washed clean / archival
soaked the negatives in a 40gallon tank
the snails loved them, the fish nibbled on them
the coolieloach snuggled with them
and i wetmount scannned then on the howlertech
using the fishes "slimecoat" as mounting fluid.
gave me ok contrast and michrocontrast and stain
but the grain pattern looked like fish scales.
oh well.
if i could figure out a way not to be allergic to cats i would take your recommendation
but ...
gave jeeves his walking paper after i sold the iron lung on evay,
and might just be to the bare essentials now ...
maybe ill stop with the camera altogether, its starting to be a complete distraction.
plenty of photographic things to be done without a camera anyways.
200 posts, John. You're 40% on your way to the point where I will extend comforting comments.
...i'm in the process of moving and noticed that I had a lot of camera stuff and then started wondering if any of it would make better pictures with a semistand exposure? i have 4 tripods so it shouldn't be a problem... the question is weather to throw in any sulfates to reduce the grain... and where to put it of course...
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