Just reading this makes me sweat!
You need to:
1) search for a video that shows you how to load steel reels; and
2) practice outside the bag, first in the light, and then in the dark or, if necessary, with your eyes closed.
Do you have a room or small workplace you can temporarily darken? You can always load reels and tanks at night, and then develop the next day. I find it way easier to load reels outside a changing bag.
The film naturally curls with the emulsion in. You should load the film that way.
Once in the dark, start unrolling the paper backing. When you reach the film, you will feel it. Pull it slightly away from the paper, and then continue to unroll the paper. You should find that the film will start rolling itself seperately into its own tube.
When you reach the tape holding the film to the paper, grab the tube of film gently by the edges and peel the tape off of the paper. Fold the tape over the edge of the film, to form a slightly stiffer surface.
Insert that taped end of the film into the clip on the reel. The reel needs to be oriented so the spiral is spinning the right way - the same way as the curl of the film. You need to be sure that the film is centred in the reel.
Hold the reel with one hand, and the edges of the film with the other. You use the hand holding the film to "cup" the film slightly so as to ensure that it stays within the spiral. You use your other hand to slowly rotate the reel, in order to pull the film into it along the spiral.
Most likely this will work best for you if you hold the reel upright, with the tube of film held horizontal. If the film loads properly, it will have a distinctive (and satisfying) feel and sound - a gentle and even scrape. A changing bag may make it hard to hear the sound.
When you think you have loaded the film, run your fingers along the sides of the reel. If any film sticks out a lot, it is crooked and you will need to unload it until the point where it went out of alignment. I find that it helps if I gently push the film slightly into the reel and then pull it slightly out of the reel after each turn - if it does that without binding it is most likely loadng true.
Once you get the hang of it, you will wonder what you were worrying about.
Thanks for the responses and encouraging words fellow APUG and film users! I have a what I believe to be small bag as I suspect since I didn't know how to buy one, it is a 16x16 size thought it is usable just but with patients and enough insanity to do so, and thankfully I have plenty of insanity! To load the reel I place everything in the bag before sealing it, rod, reel, cap and cover for it, some scissors and of course the film! I know learned by mistake that I need to remove the paper first which I do. Then I get the end of the film lord knows which side though I'm uncertain if this matters? I do assure it's the natural curly side! I am unsure if it's even safe to touch the exposure as well seeing that I may ruin it without the idea of proper handling process! I use my left hand to hold the reel and my right to press down the little lip thingy, for lack of proper identification, I then slip the films end in there all while I hold the reel to the floor of the bag stabilized by a coffee table, and as I roll and rolled until my arms tired and profusely sweat, I attempt to keep it aligned and secured without loose placement, it still bends and feels crooked! I had to assume that the spool was in fact not 120, however I didn't give up unfortunately and instead I left it on the spool
(I understand there are some steel reels for Jobo as well.)
