If you're talking about the U.S., it was a war between the states. It was never a civil war as the South had no ability and no intention of occupying the North, and never made any statements of such. But no war is a good war, I don't care whose side someone is on.
Royality seems to be of a past time, although a wise and benevolent king or queen is surely better than a tyrant that's elected by it's people. Manners though, those very important. That's what leads people into big trouble.
It was drilled into us at every level of our development in the American South, and down there you'll find people that will get in your face if you're rude or discourteous to them, their friends, co-workers or their family. It's just not acceptable, period, although an apology will clear things up. But even if someone is fighting mad, there's limits to what should be said. In a sense, what we don't say is more important than what we do say.