Can't handle photography anymore (rant to self)

[nolanr66]

A Zen master of photography once said,

"When you begin to practice photography, cameras are cameras, film is film and prints are prints. As you perfect your practice of photography, cameras are not cameras, film is not film and prints are not prints. When you master your practice, cameras are again cameras, film is again film and prints are again prints."

I must be on the road to someplace. I am at a camera is a camera, film is the same thing as digital after scanning and a print is a print but sometimes it's a photograph.

 

[Anton Lukoszevieze]

It can be frustrating, but maybe just think of light and not the image? Light for me defines the image, when I think that way I feel better about the image.....

 

[Mustafa Umut Sarac]

New baby never born without pain

 

[Angelo di Mango]

Ciao Decolorante,
First let me tell you that I found your "confession" very moving and the number of answers you have obtained tend to prove you are not the only one to go through this stage. In fact it would be more worrying if you were always totally satisfied with your work ;-)
For one thing you know now that you are not alone and that may be of some relief to you..
So what now?
You are in the learning process. So what does it mean? You are taking advice from this one then that one, you are learning from this book or that book , you are surfing on the web to find answers with examples or sometimes pictures make you wonder "how did he do it?" and then you try to find out by yourself.. Which means that during all this learning process you CANNOT be in the process of creativity because un consciously you set yourself challenges (technical ones) or perhaps try to imitate this style to master this technique .. All things combined prevent you from feeling the scene, seeing with your heart and therefore your work does not say anything to you, it seems impersonal because that is perhaps the case as you are in the learning process. All you have to do is perhaps to accept it and why not provoke it?
Instead of trying to learn AND be creative at the same time, accept to learn and just learn.
Photograph a fork, the faucets of your kitchen, your mailbox or whatsoever and try to get the best print ever... when you have gained enough confidence in your abilities and technical skills, you will feel free again to take the photographs you love and be sure that in the meantime your expectations will have changed...
Regards.
Angelo

 

[Lars Daniel]

Hi Decolorante
Thanks for starting the best thread I have seen for a long time in any forum! And thanks for crying out in public. I can very much relate to what you are saying although in the parallel world of making music.
A very good friend of mine once sent me this quote, a letter to Agnes DeMille from Martha Graham:
==========
There is a vitality, a life force, a quickening
that is translated through you into action,
and because there is only one of you in all time,
this expression is unique.

If you block it,
it will never exist through any other medium
and be lost.
The world will not have it.
It is not your business to determine how good it is;
nor how valuable it is;
nor how it compares with other expressions.
It is your business to keep it yours, clearly and directly,
to keep the channel open.

You do not even have to believe in yourself or your work.
You have to keep open and aware directly
of the urges that motivate you.

Keep the channel open.
No artist is pleased.
There is no satisfaction whatever at any time.
There is only a queer, divine dissatisfaction;
a blessed unrest that keeps us marching
and makes us more alive than the others.
==========

This is along the lines of several of the posts here.
For me bottom line is: Do not judge your work! It is not your job. Your job is to create and to be totally open to what comes through you. You are unique, and the world needs you. Not somebody who tries to be somebody else.

Thanks again.

 

[keithwms]

What a beautiful and deeply philosophical quote, Lars. I hadn't seen it before. Thank you.

 

[marylandphoto]

First, let me say---I'm not a professional; no part of my income is derived from photography. I do it just for me. I one day realized that my favorite pictures were the ones that I wasn't "thinking" about when I took them. They just sort of happened. I've now taken that approach to all my photography. Sometimes I get it, sometimes I don't. Again, I know that's a functional luxury only an amateur can have. But perhaps the pictures can be a means to an end, rather than an end in themselves. 99.9% of my work is done outdoors. I see it as a way to be active. Get out. See things. Do something. Enjoy nature. (Needless to say shooting film really enhances this experience) The photography is just second after awhile. I've found that after adopting this attitude and less of a, "well, maybe if I wait till 5:30 and go about three hundred feet in that direction and shoot with my other 200mm with a slightly less saturated film and bracket at 1/3...", that both the end result, and the process, are more satisfying.

 

[SilverGlow]

Lars, what do you think of Ansel Adam's pre-visualization techniques? He did a lot of thinking when making his pictures...your words seem to romanticize and the idealization comes through, but in practice I cannot understand what you wrote. It seems to me that best art I've seen is nearly always thought out by the artist. Perhaps I missed something in your words...

 

[keithwms]

Lars, what do you think of Ansel Adam's pre-visualization techniques? He did a lot of thinking when making his pictures...your words seem to romanticize and the idealization comes through, but in practice I cannot understand what you wrote. It seems to me that best art I've seen is nearly always thought out by the artist. Perhaps I missed something in your words...

Not to interrupt your conversation with Lars, but... there is looong thread about visualization versus pre-visualization in which I and many others were engaged. Some asserted quite strongly that there is no difference between the two. Some others pointed out that Adams had no use for the "pre" part, while I recall that White did find it useful. There is a lengthy thread on this, about a year old. It might be of interest to search for it.

P.S. Aha, here it is:

(there was a url link here which no longer exists)

 

[Domenico Foschi]

Ansel Adam's pre-visualization process, I am sure, lasted a split second.

 

[paulie]

buy a 4x5 or 10x8 and contact print, no more if onlys. contacts are the best quality no question.

then concentrate on a few good pictures instead of a roll of crappy ones

 

[clayne]

buy a 4x5 or 10x8 and contact print, no more if onlys. contacts are the best quality no question.

then concentrate on a few good pictures instead of a roll of crappy ones

Yeah this will solve pretty much nothing. It's not the equipment or the medium.

 

[paulie]

oh well , bad paulie for trying to help.

this tortured sole is getting hung up on tech issues and needs to simplify, contact printing is the cure to this problem

 

[Domenico Foschi]

oh well , bad paulie for trying to help.

this tortured sole is getting hung up on tech issues and needs to simplify, contact printing is the cure to this problem

The OP is going through a normal phase. Trying to tell him how to do things specifically it's not a productive way to trying to take him out of this stage.
This is a very good stage actually, since what's next is a found voice.
Some people like contact printing, some can't stand it (I can't stand it).

 

[michaelbsc]

I think one of the most important things to keep in mind, at least for me, is a spin off of someone's signature here. Art is both a noun and a verb. And as such it is doing and seeing.

Another thing to remember is that we do not make art. Art makes us.

 

[Nikonlens]

Hi to all fellow shooters.
I feel the same way as a lot of you, in losing interest in photography. What i would like to say in my rant. I was shooting medium format, which produced some really great images. Then suddenly, where i was buying film. It had been phased out. So, i started to go digital. Wasn't bad, it was giving me an image as close to medium format. What my gripe is, there could have been room for both. As film now is making a comeback. I won't say it's going to blossom like it once did. But there are folks that are looking at that medium. With digital, i have seen many stores go under because of it. I even bought a Canon printer, and some fine art paper to print on. There is a difference with photo papers. General paper being not bad. To Fine Art Paper, being superior. My problem now with computer photography. In years before, if you had a tech problem with Nikon. You could talk to a tech. specialist and get an answer. Now, don't even bother to call. There is not one person there who can help. Canon was a company up until recently you could also speak to someone, who would do a remote session. And fix the problem. Not anymore. What those two do not realize, is that 3rd party companies are creeping in the back door. The other gripe is, trying to find something from a you tube channel. To realizing that all they are, are salespeople trying to sell cameras. As they always start off with what they are shooting with. Nothing about exposure metering, or flash exposures doing location portraits. When it comes to shooting images now. I only shoot for myself. Reason being? I shot a multitude of events last year, with no recognition. There was not one person who offered to buy my images. Which leads me to believe, that maybe i just am not good enough in what i do. Funny thing though. Most all, who have looked at my images all said they were of a very artistic image. So now I just shoot for me. But the other thing it is not really treated as art anymore. It has become a very technical way of producing an image. I post process my images in Light room, as I have no idea as to how Photoshop works. And if an image is post processed heavily. Is it really an original image? Or just a manipulation. I use older Nikon D lenses as they give me an original look of film. But for people who want really sharp images. I use the newer optics. I do not buy just to buy. But for producing a different image. And stay away from Photography Schools. They do not teach anything anymore. All i really want to do is just to take some images. But it has kind of become a reluctance in doing so.

 

[Nikonlens]

decolorante,

So many of us have been there--you are certainly not alone. My photography background was very saturated in the "art" and passion-and very light in the "technical". So when I found apug, I felt like a dry sponge thrown into the sea... more to take in than I could ever manage. For a while I was incredibly discouraged looking at the breathtakingly beautiful work here and knowing I'd likely never be able to shoot and print like that. Over time we realize that it is just a phase... persevere and you will come out the other side a stronger photographer. The fun and passion returns.

One of the things that helped me was a cd by Clarrissa Pinkola Estes called The Creative Fire. (Directed toward female artists, but so much that is relevant to all artists). And pick up a Holga, Brownie, etc!

Have your files digitized. Buy yourself a Canon printer, some Fine Art paper. And transform your images back into Art. You can tweak the images to your liking. It may be the spark. That re-ignites the flame.

 

[MTGseattle]

If you can already make a technically decent print and have already established a good "eye" for composition based upon feedback from peers whom you respect, I too think you need to step back for a bit and decide what mystical "thing" you feel is missing. If you're already a competent printer, all you can do to further that skill is keep printing and keep layering in more minutia to the process so that ultimately you will be able to churn out a breathtaking print. If this road sounds horrible to you at this point, definitely take a break from the darkroom at least.

Try not to assign any hard goals to your shooting sessions for a bit. Just go out and grab frames that interest you. (I know a few others have said this same basic thing). Perhaps you could walk around and not take pictures? Still have your camera ready, but don't go out with the mindset that you "have to" make any images. Take some notes too. Perhaps you will see something that deserves a visit during better lighting or while something else has changed within the scene.

I was just back in my hometown for a few days. I carried my camera around 80 percent of the time. I exposed 3 frames. I didn't see any of the old haunts that spoke to me this time around and I am ok with that. What helps me right now too is that I can detach myself a bit from final output thoughts. I don't currently have a darkroom going, so I expose and process and sometimes scan. That's it.

As almost everyone else has said, don't give up.

 

[Ivo Stunga]

What my gripe is, there could have been room for both. As film now is making a comeback. I won't say it's going to blossom like it once did.

That room is still vacant, waiting for you to occupy it. And why try to reconstruct the same river you once stood in? They say you cannot step into the same river twice. What matters is that this river continues to flow. And does flow. No Niagra, but calmer waters now, which is nice too!

My problem now with computer photography. In years before, if you had a tech problem with Nikon. You could talk to a tech. specialist and get an answer. Now, don't even bother to call. There is not one person there who can help. Canon was a company up until recently you could also speak to someone, who would do a remote session. And fix the problem. Not anymore

It's a dystopian direction all manufacturers are going today. You are renting, not owning stuff today, so the attitude, outlook and services change accordingly. "You will not own anything and will be happy". Times have changed, this timeline sucks.

The other gripe is, trying to find something from a you tube channel. To realizing that all they are, are salespeople trying to sell cameras.

Thank YouTube algorithms for preferring easily to digest "commercials" over "essays". There is a channel called The Art Of Photography which started out just awesome, but HAD to devolve into salesman to stay afloat on the platforms. Digital is current, you can easily put sheaple on the hype train for new cameras, as if anything changes, as if that's what makes a good photo good. Thank YouTube for this.

When it comes to shooting images now. I only shoot for myself. Reason being? I shot a multitude of events last year, with no recognition. There was not one person who offered to buy my images. Which leads me to believe, that maybe i just am not good enough

Hahaha. I haven't earned a cent over the 10+ years I shoot film. Just one person offered to buy my print on Instagram, for which I was surprised. I don't let this be a measurement of my pictures. I don't even try to sell my work, to make it more sellable. Do you try to sell yours actively, promotion and stuff, engage in all that marketing bullshit?

And stay away from Photography Schools. They do not teach anything anymore.

I'll be on the agreeing side, but that's probably just me as I do the learning on my own the most. But remove all the know-how of film and introduce "spray and pray" of digital, and you have little left to teach, because all can be sprayed into submission and all tends to devolve into techtalk rather than techniques in photography. Just my 2 damaged cents.

 

[Nikonlens]

If you can already make a technically decent print and have already established a good "eye" for composition based upon feedback from peers whom you respect, I too think you need to step back for a bit and decide what mystical "thing" you feel is missing. If you're already a competent printer, all you can do to further that skill is keep printing and keep layering in more minutia to the process so that ultimately you will be able to churn out a breathtaking print. If this road sounds horrible to you at this point, definitely take a break from the darkroom at least.

Try not to assign any hard goals to your shooting sessions for a bit. Just go out and grab frames that interest you. (I know a few others have said this same basic thing). Perhaps you could walk around and not take pictures? Still have your camera ready, but don't go out with the mindset that you "have to" make any images. Take some notes too. Perhaps you will see something that deserves a visit during better lighting or while something else has changed within the scene.

I was just back in my hometown for a few days. I carried my camera around 80 percent of the time. I exposed 3 frames. I didn't see any of the old haunts that spoke to me this time around and I am ok with that. What helps me right now too is that I can detach myself a bit from final output thoughts. I don't currently have a darkroom going, so I expose and process and sometimes scan. That's it.

As almost everyone else has said, don't give up.

Hi Mtgseattle,
Hope you are well. And i hope you did well during the pandemic. Anyway, thanks for the reply. Most of what i print i really like the images that i do print. Mostly the reasons that i do my own. It is because I knew what the colors were when I took the image. When i do go out to shoot, i already have the image in my head as to what i want it to be. I would like to get into fine art photography. If you look at images by Brooke Shaden, they are really spectacular images. Most of what she postprocesses with is photoshop. All i basically have to do is learn it. It just seems a bit complicated. Another photographer who teaches well, is Gavin Hoey. He does an in-depth lesson on what he is doing. Take care, be well.

 

[Alex Benjamin]

Have your files digitized. Buy yourself a Canon printer, some Fine Art paper. And transform your images back into Art. You can tweak the images to your liking. It may be the spark. That re-ignites the flame.

You do realize you're replying to a 13-year-old post, right ?

And OP hasn't been seen here since 2012... Moving post nevertheless. Wonder if he moved on from photography or realized that this wasn't the place to help him rekindle his inspiration...

 

[Nikonlens]

You do realize you're replying to a 13-year-old post, right ?

And OP hasn't been seen here since 2012... Moving post nevertheless. Wonder if he moved on from photography or realized that this wasn't the place to help him rekindle his inspiration...

I really hope i did not offend you. And thanks for pointing it out. I thought i was just giving some insight. Be well.

 

[Sirius Glass]

Hi to all fellow shooters.
I feel the same way as a lot of you, in losing interest in photography. What i would like to say in my rant. I was shooting medium format, which produced some really great images. Then suddenly, where i was buying film. It had been phased out. So, i started to go digital. Wasn't bad, it was giving me an image as close to medium format. What my gripe is, there could have been room for both. As film now is making a comeback. I won't say it's going to blossom like it once did. But there are folks that are looking at that medium. With digital, i have seen many stores go under because of it. I even bought a Canon printer, and some fine art paper to print on. There is a difference with photo papers. General paper being not bad. To Fine Art Paper, being superior. My problem now with computer photography. In years before, if you had a tech problem with Nikon. You could talk to a tech. specialist and get an answer. Now, don't even bother to call. There is not one person there who can help. Canon was a company up until recently you could also speak to someone, who would do a remote session. And fix the problem. Not anymore. What those two do not realize, is that 3rd party companies are creeping in the back door. The other gripe is, trying to find something from a you tube channel. To realizing that all they are, are salespeople trying to sell cameras. As they always start off with what they are shooting with. Nothing about exposure metering, or flash exposures doing location portraits. When it comes to shooting images now. I only shoot for myself. Reason being? I shot a multitude of events last year, with no recognition. There was not one person who offered to buy my images. Which leads me to believe, that maybe i just am not good enough in what i do. Funny thing though. Most all, who have looked at my images all said they were of a very artistic image. So now I just shoot for me. But the other thing it is not really treated as art anymore. It has become a very technical way of producing an image. I post process my images in Light room, as I have no idea as to how Photoshop works. And if an image is post processed heavily. Is it really an original image? Or just a manipulation. I use older Nikon D lenses as they give me an original look of film. But for people who want really sharp images. I use the newer optics. I do not buy just to buy. But for producing a different image. And stay away from Photography Schools. They do not teach anything anymore. All i really want to do is just to take some images. But it has kind of become a reluctance in doing so.

Welcome to APUG Photrio!​

 

[pentaxuser]

Nikonlens, thanks for your thoughts on a range of issues that have affected you and probably most of us in one form or another. What I wasn't so clear about was whether you have now switched back to film at least partially as a result of your experiences or remain a 100% digital photographer.

pentaxuser

 

[Sirius Glass]

Shoot more film and you will feel better.