Can't handle photography anymore (rant to self)

[Valerie]

decolorante,

So many of us have been there--you are certainly not alone. My photography background was very saturated in the "art" and passion-and very light in the "technical". So when I found apug, I felt like a dry sponge thrown into the sea... more to take in than I could ever manage. For a while I was incredibly discouraged looking at the breathtakingly beautiful work here and knowing I'd likely never be able to shoot and print like that. Over time we realize that it is just a phase... persevere and you will come out the other side a stronger photographer. The fun and passion returns.

One of the things that helped me was a cd by Clarrissa Pinkola Estes called The Creative Fire. (Directed toward female artists, but so much that is relevant to all artists). And pick up a Holga, Brownie, etc!

 

[railwayman3]

If (like me!) you tend to be a bit of a perfectionist, or at least like to do things to the best of your ability, it can be very frustrating when things don't go well, especially when your are learning some new subject or hobby.

I've found that it's best to sometimes "step back" and say "why am I doing this".....and, when it's a hobby, remember that it's really mostly for your own pleasure, and (unlike work) you don't have to do it.

I've quite a few hobby-type pastimes....sometimes I feel less interested in one of them, and just put it aside and forget about it for six months or a year. Usually something then triggers my enthusiasm once again and I can return to it with a new interest.

And, as regards the technical side of photography....if that's what interests you, just do it and leave the artistic side for a while. There are quite a lot of amateur photographers who enjoy the scientific side, experimenting, trying unusual processes and concocting developers and other potions. They get a lot of satisfaction from this, which is fine, and it's just another very valid aspect of our great hobby.

 

[lns]

Can you find a film photography and traditional darkroom class? You'd get the input of a teacher and the encouragement of fellow students. Plus good technical instruction. And assignments, so no worries if you feel an artistic block.

-Laura

 

[cbphoto]

I had the reverse experience - started out very technical and then shed much of the technique to focus on people and interactions. If your style requires that kind of free, spontaneous approach, then technical considerations will likely always get in the way unless you automate them (understanding them first is essential, though). My approach on the tech side is to use a film/developer combo that allows a wide exposure latitude and set exposure either by way of an automatic camera, flash, or intuition (I shoot a lot at night).

You mentioned that you are using a Bronica. I started off with MF and LF and had very boring, static pictures. The format does try to push you in that direction. The camera needs to match your style. I shoot with Leicas and "high-end" point and shoot cameras. These allow me to shoot without tinkering with dials and long-throw focus rings that take an hour to go from infinity to 3ft. I can shoot fast without thinking, and that's when I get the best photos. From the gut. Then again, I don't know what you are shooting, so maybe MF is fine for you...

My advice is to learn as much tech stuff as you can, but adapt it properly to what you shoot. Much of the tech advice you'll get on this and most internet forums and tech books is in what I refer to as the Ansel Adams tradition, which is highly formal. That's not a bad thing at all - soak it up. It is all useful, but needs to be adapted to your style. When we get into these in-depth tech discussions, it seems like it is the most important thing in the world, but it isn't - it just needs to be hammered out and put in its place in our respective toolboxes. Content is still far more important than technique - at least that's what every famous photographer I admire appears to believe.

 

[david James lee]

"technique does't exist, but is very important"

Jeanloup Seiff

 

[whlogan]

Get the Hologa and shoot it like a machine gun..... forget all the rules and philosophys.... most of them both are crap... go with your gut and you will be OK.... do what you like.... I mean what YOU like....keep at it and have fun....

Logan

 

[Ektagraphic]

I was in a similar place. When I learned about manual exposure, that is ALL I would worry about when shooting so my photos suffered. Now that I have a good understanding of photography in the technical ways easier and I can focus on composition more.

 

[JBrunner]

Push it. Stop worrying. I think you are thinking too much about the photo making and not enough on making photos. Technical mastery as it comes should be liberating, not dampening to spirit and creativity.

 

[Focus No. 9]

Take photographs of what you see; not for another to feel. Paint what you feel not what another sees.
Listen to the music within you and the dance will folllow. Share your dance.

 

[keithwms]

Frankly, I really don't understand the advice that the creative obstacle needs to be machine gunned, rammed, pushed, just do it-ed etc. It all strikes me as machismo.

I was assuming, when I posted my suggestions, that the technical stuff was taken care of. If not, then yeah, push away, and there are plenty of exercises for that. Technical stuff is by far the easiest part of photography, and for most people it is probably best conquered with exercise and a get-it-done mentality. Certainly there is a phase of just going through the motions and mastering the techniques.

But the creative aspects simply cannot be forced. You could have all the technique in the world and stand there with your camera loaded and... not see a single image. Now that is frustrating! Again I say: put the camera down, get out, and just enjoy seeing for it's own sake. The camera will be there when you feel you need it. When you have the vision that really compels you, then the technical stuff will simply fall away like nothing. As if the camera weren't even there. Nobody can tell you how to solve your creative obstacle, but you have to have faith that it will be solved when the time is right. And when it is right, it will seem as effortless as seeing.

 

[Bruce Watson]

Interesting. You have indeed lost your way. I'm sorry to hear it. But I'm happy to tell you that you can find your way back.

What's likely happened is that you started making photographs for the sole purpose of learning the craft of photography. You're making tests, not photographs. You aren't the first to fall into this trap, and you certainly won't be the last, so don't feel too badly about it.

The way back is to refuse to do more tests. Only make a photograph of a scene that moves you.

Easily said, but often much more difficult to actually do. Breaking a bad cycle is nearly always difficult. If it's difficult for you, declare a photographic holiday. Put your equipment away. Clean your darkroom and close it down. When you go out, leave your camera at home. For how long? Until you start cursing the fact that you don't have a camera available to capture a particularly beautiful or moving scene that's caught your eye. Not that you don't have a camera in your hands so you'll have something to do with them (the old "smoker's excuse"), but because there's a meaningful photograph in front of you that you want to make.

Might take weeks. Might take years. Might, in fact, never happen.

It all comes down to some wonderful words of wisdom I learned from a tennis coach. It applies to life as well as tennis. He told me just this: "If what you are doing isn't working, change."

 

[clayne]

It can even become paralyzing, this level of expectation that you develop.

Just keep the faith that photography will be there for you when the time is right again.

I think this hits the nail on the head.

You're working with too much expectation. As such, you've already mentally pre-determined what you think your results should be and end up in a feedback loop of defeatism when you don't get it. It's what happens when the left side of the brain starts taking over - you lose feel for the whole process.

Find a project, represent your subjects faithfully, and print to a level of reasonable acceptability. Forget the home runs.

 

[Ed Sukach]

"Do not worry that the work will not be good - the real danger is that the work will not be.

- Julia Cameron - The Artist's Way

I have NO easy fix for all this - I firmly believe, after a LOT of effort, that none exists. I've only found one way out ... DO IT!!! Not easy ... but it is the only thig that has worked for me.

A great danger lies in "overthinking" - directly related- a partner - to "overworking" in pencil drawing. That is another name for "trying TOO hard".
One effective 'exercize', for me, was my first involvement with one and two minute poses in Life Class. You do not have TIME to think, all you can do is put lines on paper. If you try for perfection you will have a very small fraction of a recognizable image - and the pose will be gone, replaced by another. One would think that the work could not be "good", in those circumstances, but it is usual that the student will be amazed by how "good" it really is. I think it is far better to "let go" and let our innards (a.k.a "sub/ preconscious) take over.

Frightening, at first - working against the idea of "You MUST always, always, always do the best you can possibly do, no matter what".

In reviewing my own work, I have come to the realization - finally - that in the times I 'work loose' - relax and let it flow - I produce my best work.

 

[Mainecoonmaniac]

I went through a funk too. I wreck my passion for photography by making it a profession from a beloved hobby. I took a hiatus from photography for many years. My darkroom was abandoned for the same amount of time. At one time, I thought of liquidating my inventory of photo and darkroom gear. Great photographers draw from life. They're not mere technicians. Photography is not just machinery, but an expression of oneself. I did some traveling, went to art museums and galleries and it stoked the smoldering ember of the love of photography. Go out get some fresh air with or without a camera and taste life. It's OK if you don't make pictures. Don't have any expectations, just enjoy the moment. Refill your creative reservoir.

 

[Colin Corneau]

If you put half as much passion and energy into photography as you did into the essay you wrote about it, you'd be fine.

Less "whither art..?" and just do it.

 

[jmain]

A Zen master of photography once said,

"When you begin to practice photography, cameras are cameras, film is film and prints are prints. As you perfect your practice of photography, cameras are not cameras, film is not film and prints are not prints. When you master your practice, cameras are again cameras, film is again film and prints are again prints."

So relax, you're about half way through the ride...

 

[decolorante]

A Zen master of photography once said,

"When you begin to practice photography, cameras are cameras, film is film and prints are prints. As you perfect your practice of photography, cameras are not cameras, film is not film and prints are not prints. When you master your practice, cameras are again cameras, film is again film and prints are again prints."

So relax, you're about half way through the ride...

I somehow feel that this is very true!

 

[Mainecoonmaniac]

I guess with life and photography we forget simplicity and the essence of what we do. So approach the quandary of life and photography with a beginner's mind.

 

[benjiboy]

My motto is " If at first you don't succeed, give up "

 

[njkphoto]

If you put half as much passion and energy into photography as you did into the essay you wrote about it, you'd be fine.

I totally agree. Many photographers rumble and think deeply about the photograph, the technical parts of it, what other think, etc. For me, I shoot for myself, first, not the viewer, not my boss, just for me. As a photojournalist/documentary shooter I like to explore. If I start to think what I want to explore, document, how I am going to shoot it, how I am going to develop it, what others will think....I will go insane and don't do anything, stay home and drink.

I guess the question is, why you do it.

 

[Ed Sukach]

Just rediscovered this... from Aikido: Morihei Ueshiba's Famous Quotes:

"The way of a warrior cannot be encompassed by words or in letters: grasp the essence and move on forward to realization."

Substitute "Photographer" for "Warrior" ... or even... maybe not

 

[lightwisps]

Maybe you just are experiencing "writers block" We all go through a drought. Keep looking at other images and see if anything sparks you.

 

[2F/2F]

A Zen master of photography once said,

"When you begin to practice photography, cameras are cameras, film is film and prints are prints.QUOTE]

The idea comes through, but actually it is:

"When you begin to practice photography, cameras is cameras, film is film and prints is prints."

 

[mlcolbert]

Just rediscovered this... from Aikido: Morihei Ueshiba's Famous Quotes:

"The way of a warrior cannot be encompassed by words or in letters: grasp the essence and move on forward to realization."

Substitute "Photographer" for "Warrior" ... or even... maybe not

and that was based on Book One of the Tao Te Ching.

 

[Domenico Foschi]

DXecolorante, ciao, io vengo da Ravenna, piacere.
You are in the right path. SOmetime, when we get in the road to creativity we take side roads that take us seemingly nowhere. It never is a straight path, mistaxkes are made and we need to learn from them.
In my career, years ago, I realized that I was beating myself up because I was way too hung up in how a photograph should look like, thinking of what had been done before by the masters and I had lost the elasticity of the beginning that you relate to.
You are passionate, your writing shows that, and you are improving technically your work because you care about photography deeply.
To have a passion, a calling, is just like falling in love. You have the first months of a deep blind passion when the all world is magical and you are way too forgiving in your images as we tend to overlook the defects of character of our partner. You are out of the gutter because you have found a way to express your emotions inm order to share them with your fellow humans, and then....the first problems arise when you consciously realize that a bit of technical knowledge is necessary in order to fully express your feelings.
The magic is gone and commitment sets in. I disagree that photography is only fun, photography in order to be excellent will also turn in a seven-heads monster. You will hate it, probably you will abandon it for a while, like I did, but it will never leave you and without it you will feel miserable.
You are in the most difficult stage that feels awful, I know. You don't like the results and you have lost confidence in your capacities. These are symptoms of a committed and often gifted artist.
One thing that can help you in getting out of that gutter is by trusting your instincts. When your instinct tells you to do something, follow it blindly, even if this means to break the rules of technical perfection. Creativity is infinite and technical skills is just an infinitesimal part of what can be done with silver and light.
I wish you a good successful relationship with your photography.
This wasn't free. I expect 1 kg of Lardo di Colonnata outside my door as a fee for my counseling if it turns out to be helpful.
Un salutone da Los Angeles.