Thinking about giving up.

[PCGraflex]

I'm having a horrible time justifying keeping the Speed Graphic and other related gear. I've been going back and forth for about a week on it. The skinny, really, is this.

I don't have time. I really don't. I can't shoot what I want to shoot with it because there just isn't time enough right now. There may be in the future when I no longer have a really small child, but I'm wanting to spend more and more time playing and entertaining her and less and less on elaborate photography projects. Lately I've been so excited about the prospect of doing some alternative process stuff that I've forgotten to ask myself when I'm going to be able to even do any of it. I've been having a hard time finding the time to go down and develop film let alone coat paper myself.

I'm starting to ask myself what's important. I mean, yeah, I should take time to myself. This, right here, is time to myself. But when Rinoa is awake and active I want to be there, not in the basement developing 12 sheets of film 4 at a time.

I'm thinking that sticking to 35mm and 120 right now is a good idea. Rollfilm is easier for me to process. You get more shots per roll. It's more portable. The lenses are faster. These are all things I need right now with a small child.

So yeah. Just ranting. Asking for thoughts as well, though. I know it's a decision I have to make for myself. Maybe a little support from other parents who shoot large format will help.

No, No No. Do not sell it. I mean, why? :confused:
So the lenses are a bit slower than roll film or 35mm. So it takes up some space in your closet. So it doesn't get used. Definately do what most have said here and leave it in the closet and forget about it for now.

Use the roll film camera as much as you can. Work that camera until you feel its second nature to use. Look at those really great shots that you have now accumulated and you will have your sense of style and what you like to photograph defined.

You might ask yourself how a great shot of something you did would look in large format. You might even ask yourself how cool it would be to have a nice 16x20 of something. Then, BAM! That's the time you pull out the Speed, and try it out. Or, put it on a tripod, and see that wonderful big image on the ground glass. Work nice and slow to create those images you have predefined in the back of your mind. Heck, I bet later you find yourself getting bold and wanting to fire off a few flashbulbs!!!

Point is, relax and enjoy your new baby and get some great pictures with your roll film and 35mm cameras.
The Speed Graphic will be ready when you are.

 

[BrianShaw]

You are over-thinking the problem, but putting too much emotion into it and not enough brains. This seems to be a habit.

If you don't need the money keep the camera and lower your expectations to something reasonable. Rather than planning a 500-sheet project with a film that isn't made, why not shoot a couple of sheets whenever you can find the time. I have young kids too and only get to shoot a few sheets every now and again. Guess what... the older they get, the less time I have for myself.

Go slow... settle down... and don't bite of your nose to spite your face.

 

[glbeas]

It's the Alt process stuff that makes me want to sell it. I really do want to go bigger. I completely understand the fact that bigger means more money, but when I'm going to be shooting for contact printing kallitypes and salt prints the big negatives would be much better used. There's always shooting the APHS film.

If thats all you want the LF for you really don't need a bigger camera. Just use the negs you have and dupe them bigger. Even better find someone who can do that for you. This opens a vast number of options for images when you don't need to worry about how big the camera is. A good MF shooter will do quite well for this task.

 

[Curt]

Stephanie, you've been given a lot of suggestions here and far be it for me to tell you what to do, it's always your call about what you will do or not do with photography. I've had some fits and spurts in the beginning and along the way, so have a lot of the great photographers and artists.

In my first year of college I took a course called -Marriage the family and personal fulfillment-, how quickly did I learn that the priorities in my own life were actually my marriage, the family, children, work, paying taxes, being a good neighbor, voting, driving a car within the law, working for civil rights, serving my country in war, making others happy, and always finally personal fulfillment. The point is that I considered my personal fulfillment last.

Now Brett Weston stated that he brushed off Women, friends and obligations that got in the way of his photography. His priority was photography first. Woody Guthrie abandoned all family and took to the road, it worked for him too.

Some people take no personal time and devote all of their time to their families, no hobbies, sports or outside entertainment. It's a lifestyle that works for them and they are happy.

I soon came to realize that it wasn't selfish to take some personal time. In the beginning I worked it in when I could. It became easier and easier as time passed. I'm a much happier person when I satisfy the need to create. I find that there is a balance that can be obtained and I'm flexible.

 

[dazedgonebye]

Stephanie,

I've got a full time job, a mostly absent wife, a house and two boys. One of the boys is a special needs kid and I home school him after work every day and weekends.
I just bought a crown graphic and did my first shots with it last weekend.
I have a massive list of things I'd like to get done in photography, including doing some more cyanotype prints (not to mention making more digital negatives).

It's a struggle. There isn't much time for anything. Even so, there is a direction I want to take and I'm going to take it. My steps may be painfully slow and small, but I will keep taking them. It's the bit of life I carve out to mean something just for me.

It's easy to get lost in your family responsibilities...and God knows I would be the first one to say you should put your family first...still, that doesn't mean you can afford to put yourself so far behind that you are not taken care of. Balance is a pretty tough thing to accomplish.

Anyway. LF, MF, 35mm...whatever. Just keep following the path you think is best for you...even if the steps become few and far between.

 

[Phillip P. Dimor]

Cyanotypes are fun, I find the process to be very relaxing. I can spend the day outside, enjoying the sunny weather and print some pretty pictures..
Heck, you can do this at a picnic, beach if you bring your own supply of water and keep your negs in poly sleeves..

Enlarging negatives can definitely be done. There are many ways, using APHS halftone film in particular.. You can even reversal-process the APHS (which seems like a very good thing to learn if you are wanting to get into alt. printing) There are guides here, in the chem. section that explain it very well.

I've been meaning to get into it for a while as even my 4x5 negs are a bit small for some processes. I hated contacting film onto film, I wasn't very good at that.

 

[BOSS565]

Keep it. Ask yourself when you can use large format to photograph your children. What is wrong with using it occasionally? Use different formats for different occasions / situations.

 

[Adrian Twiss]

I had a similar dilema some time ago. With me it was not children but golf (how trite does that sound). I packed my gear away in aluminium cases and left them for at least 10 years. When my my obsession with golf abated I got the cameras out again and picked up where I left off. I believe I would have deeply regretted selling my kit. Just my 2 pennies worth.

 

[lns]

It's lovely to come across a reference to Imogen Cunningham. She's wonderful. As I recall, she was thrilled to give up her large format camera when she discovered the Rollei. It didn't do her work any harm either.

-Laura

 

[canuhead]

I don't see why you should keep it if you won't be using it for the forseeable future. It's not as if finding another Speed will be tough. Indeed, if you're thinking of contact printing larger than 4x5 negatives, then having the Speed may even keep you from making that jump. If you don't have a 4x5 camera, then there's really nothing to keep you from jumping into 8x10 or up.

As your kid grows up, the camera that you use to capture their growth is the one that matters.

 

[Nigel]

My daughter turned 5 months yesterday. I too find it hard to find the time to pick up a camera, let alone do teh developing. But, I do now have a great subject for when I do find time, and I have rediscovered the joy of c41 (great latitiude and someone else does the developing). I also hold out the hope that some day photography is a hobby we can share - I have a camera or two she can use.

 

[Andrew Sanderson]

You are busy, but this is a very creative time.

Dear Stephane, I too have large format cameras (plus tons of other formats) and found myself at home with kids for half a week for many years. my wife and I shared the childcare - three days a week each, (sundays all together) and instead of getting frustrated about not being able to do this or that project, I just shot everything around me. I got so much stuff I wrote a book on the subject.
Don't give up, get lots of great shots of them, -I found medium format the best compromise. Great quality, easy and versatile.
Andrew.

 

[viridari]

I'm having a horrible time justifying keeping the Speed Graphic and other related gear. I've been going back and forth for about a week on it. The skinny, really, is this.

I think you're nuts but if you decide you've had enough, consider giving it a new home with someone who is eccentric and masochistic enough to put it to good use.

(I'd totally Weegee out with a nice press camera like that... just sayin')