Tom,
It seems you don't want a really technical answer, so I'll try to give you just the essentials without the technical substantiation, which means that you'll just have to believe me
First, negative film has much more leeway on the side of overexposure than underexposure, hence the admonition to meter so that you get shadow values you want on the film and don't inadvertently underexpose (a real danger). A couple of stops overexposure with modern films makes practically no difference in print quality.
Second, longer development gives you a larger overall range of densities on the negative (contrast). Therefore the practice of nailing down developing time to give you the highlight densities you want. If your negs are consistently too contrasty, then reduce development and vice-versa.
Many take advantage of these facts by erring on the side of overexposure and then underdeveloping a bit. Contrast can be increased at the printing stage if needed.
However, if you're not into learning an exposure/development system like the Zone System (which is really only practical for sheet-film users anyway) and don't trust the seemingly contradictory practices of others, why not just use the manufacturers' suggestions? Kodak, Ilford and Fuji have spent millions developing and testing their products and want their consumers to have the greatest possible success rate. Their suggestions are your best starting point.
As for metering (your original question): It depends on the meter you have! If you use an in-camera meter (your avatar has a 35mm camera in it, so I suppose you do), then by all means use it. It is likely an averaging meter of some kind, maybe center-weighted. At any rate, set the box speed ISO, and go out and shoot. 80% of your shots will be well-exposed. There are only a few situations when this technique will underexpose the film, so...
If you want to refine your metering technique, then you have to learn to recognize situations that "fool" your meter into underexposing. These include scenes that are high-key (i.e., all lighter values like the white cat in the snow)*, backlighting (where the meter sees all that background light and averages it in, but you really want full exposure of the shadowed foreground) and high-contrast situations (where the meter averages extremes that are too far apart and comes up with a wrong middle value). Recognize these situations and give one or two stops more exposure for them depending on the severity of the lighting difference. Heck, you could just give 2 stops every time you encounter a situation like these and at worst only be a stop overexposed. That should increase your rate of accuracy tremendously.
*Note that you don't have to worry about the opposite situation, low-key (the black cat in a coal bin) because the meter will just overexpose this, which is in the film's "safety zone" or latitude and won't adversely affect print quality much.
And, since you're using roll film, you can just bracket when in doubt: shoot a frame at the meter reading and then one 2 stops over when you're not sure. One of the negs will have a 99% chance of making a good print. Remember, it's underexposure that's your enemy and overexposure that's your safety valve when in doubt.
Develop according to the manufacturers' directions (use a recommended developer, time and temperature) and you'll be way in the ball park. For many, this is all that's ever needed. If you want to delve further into the nuances and creative possibilities of exposure and development controls in the future, you will already have a good basis.
Have fun,
Doremus