you should not have
You just don't want
I can decide just fine for myself what I should or shouldn't, and what I do or don't want. You're simply not in a position to fill this in for anyone but yourself.
One of the things I certainly don't want is to perpetuate this conversation with you on the terms you impose on it, which make it more akin to a cross examination and forces one party to do mental gymnastics while the other can lazily and stubbornly sit by. A conversation requires a basic willingness on both parties to evaluate information being exchanged. Time and again I note that any signs of such willingness are lacking in conversations with you.