<snip> Art's been a bit testy lately, <snip>
At the begining of the year everyone working in and around labs had to get their annual check up. So, off I went to the Health Services Department to meet with the staff nurse. Standard procedure:
- Two arms? Check!
- Two legs? Check!
- One head? Screwed on a bit loosely, but everything seems fine. Check!
She then begins to hand me a book from the Mayo Clinic about self diagnosis and treatments of common illnesses and such. A good read should one be a hypochondriack and missing any anxieties.
Anyway, she's explaining all this and hands me the most interesting door knocker I have ever seen.
To those that don't know what a door knocker is, it's a marketing device basically, that hangs on your door handle - usually with words like "Do not disturb." Most frequently seen in hotels.
Anyway, this door knocker was of particular interest as it was for a testicular self examination. I kid you not - a testicular self examination. Pictures, diagrams, numbers to tell you which step goes first and second, etc... where to place your hands, what to feel for and where the delicate areas are. That sort of thing. Let me say it again - a testicular self examination.
Had she been a little younger, maybe a little less rotund and defintely had I had a lot more alcohol, I would have mustered up the courage for a personal demonstration. I mean what if I've never done a testicular self examination before? I could hurt myself! Go blind, right?
Hmmm ... let's see what it says: It recommends to do this for 3 minutes, once a month. Best time is after a shower or a warm bath. Fingers gliding over delicate parts with soapy skin makes it easier to concentrate on texture (ya sure). Plus the heat from warm water is relaxing. There's no mention of candles or Barry White. It doesn't say to smoke a cig afterwards is optional either.
So, basically this door knocker showed you how to feel yourself up and have a viable medical explanation for doing so. It hangs on my office door handle when I don't want anyone to disturb me.
Unlike Blansky, I couldn't make this stuff up.
Kodak's problem is Perez's inept public persona. Their deeds tend to belie his words
The day he's ousted is the day we dance in the streets.
fingers crossed - touch wood
Apparently that's not the correct way to perform a tesicular self examination. Soapy warm water John. Soapy warm water.
Regards, Art. (Should anyone want a copy of the testicular self examination door knocker, I'll scan it in and post a link. Not for the faint.)