Dan Fromm said:
Well, you're not obligated to buy when offered a second chance. You are when you win.
If you bid stupidly, you're off the hook. If you bid sensibly, well, then buying at the second chance may not be as good for you as buying at the 3d highest bid plus the increment, but you up for paying what you bid. So where's the problem?
Bidder #1 could have been a deadbeat, a joker, the seller....
Why should I pay more because he bid an amount he isn't paying? If he hadn't bid at all, I would have won the item anyway, at a lower price. Hopefully, my top bid was sensible to begin with, but who would rather pay a higher price?
What if eBay didn't do proxy bidding? You just enter the max you are willing to pay and the system immediately enters that as your bid. It would be very similar to this situation. I would get the item at my top (hopefully, sensible) bid.
I think that if offered a "second chance", one is in a position to offer less. Say, split the difference between my top bid and #3's top bid.
It has never come up for me, but I think that is fair.
Matt