I actually like pushed Tri-X better than the "official" 3200 films. Of course you always lose shadow detail when pushing, but in my experience it's not as much as you might expect, and to my eye Tri-X has nicer-looking grain than the others. It's largely a matter of taste, though.
As far as metering, I would spend some time just looking around at the stage through the viewfinder and thinking about the meter readings; OK, the darker areas here are going to need 1/50 at f/2.8 (or whatever), that lit area at stage left is about a stop brighter, and so on...and then ignore the meter and shoot based on those "pre-readings". It's not a perfect method, but I think it works better than trusting the meter in circumstances where it can be fooled by spotlights.
-NT