The Over Analyzation of a Creative Crisis...

[warden]

Oh, it wasn’t clear from your original post that you already had experience with a variety of film cameras and formats. Carry on.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

Oh, it wasn’t clear from your original post that you already had experience with a variety of film cameras and formats. Carry on.

Yeah. I could kick myself in the ass for selling my Hassy 500cm. I swore they'd have to pry it from my cold dead hands, but I got so down, and so lost that I sold my entire collection of stuff and went camera/photography less for about 4 or 5 years.

 

[faberryman]

I am not sure how wavering on buying a film camera is a creative crisis.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

I am not sure how wavering on buying a film camera is a creative crisis.

I'm sure you can figure it out if you give it a little more thought.

 

[John Bragg]

Get the F5. It is a lot of camera for the money. I bought one a few years ago when prices were very low and mine is near mint and cost me £160 on ebay. I use it mainly for portraits but never ever with flash. The added heft makes it an awesome choice in low light hand held and it is so well damped that it rivals my Leica M6 for low vibration.

 

[mmerig]

I am not sure how wavering on buying a film camera is a creative crisis.

After reading the original post, I had the same impression as faberryman

A very creative person once said that creativity is observation, experience, and imagination.

I guess the camera can be part of observation, and maybe experience too, but it is usually imagination that goes missing during a "creative crisis".

Now I am trying to imagine how such wavering over a film camera would be a creative crisis. I suppose my imagination has gone missing.

 

[Ko.Fe.]

Buying 200$ F5 is not big deal. What is next?
To get to this poetic thing you describe (one day it will become boring routine, btw) you will need to spends hundreds and hundreds more. Darkroom paper is just bloody expensive. Do you have enough dough to pay 150$ every time you want to print on 8x10 again? Just check DR paper prices before talking about gelatin and silver

 

[MattKing]

I think Christopher is seeing film photography as being, creatively, an entirely new endeavour.
Many of us don't see film photography as being, creatively, all that separate from digital photography.
So what might be simply a choice for us might be much more difficult for him.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

After reading the original post, I had the same impression as faberryman

A very creative person once said that creativity is observation, experience, and imagination.

I guess the camera can be part of observation, and maybe experience too, but it is usually imagination that goes missing during a "creative crisis".

Now I am trying to imagine how such wavering over a film camera would be a creative crisis. I suppose my imagination has gone missing.

My mind is full of imagination and creation, it's how to materialize that creativity that I'm struggling with.

I've got almost 20000 images on hard drives that I've never done anything with. And for the life of me, I can't make myself sit down long enough to prepare them for printing. And honestly, if I do sit down and edit them, I usually take them too far and ruin things. Sure I could reset the image to RAW status, but then that starts the whole process over again. I get very sick of looking at screens. But my dilemma is determining whether or not film has a place in my process. As I've stated before we live on a boat and space is at a premium, so no room for a sprawling dark room, or a lot of peripheral equipment like developing tanks, trays, enlargers etc. Additionally, how much can I afford film when you factor in the cost of the film itself, and the chemicals to develop it. And finally, if I take a hybrid approach will I like the results.

And in between all of that there's the question of should I spend the money? Should I just stick to the two D700 bodies that I have? Am I just searching for that creative feeling that film gives me, but not fully realizing it with digital? Am I not doing something right with digital, and could I change something to make it more satisfying?

Have I just gone mad?

 

[ChristopherCoy]

I think Christopher is seeing film photography as being, creatively, an entirely new endeavour.
Many of us don't see film photography as being, creatively, all that separate from digital photography.
So what might be simply a choice for us might be much more difficult for him.

This.

For my entire photographic life I have never known *ME*. Whether it be digital or film, I've always shot this lens because some workshop instructor said it was the best. Or I shot that style because friends told me that was what people liked these days. I never, ever, did what * I * wanted to do because it pleased me.

Recent self discoveries that have been made as a result of sobriety have brought me to the proverbial fork in the road and I'm trying to decide which path I'll enjoy more. When you're an alcoholic in recovery, and you start discovering why you've done what you've done all your life, you start to realize things about yourself that you never knew.

 

[logan2z]

My mind is full of imagination and creation, it's how to materialize that creativity that I'm struggling with.

I've got almost 20000 images on hard drives that I've never done anything with. And for the life of me, I can't make myself sit down long enough to prepare them for printing. And honestly, if I do sit down and edit them, I usually take them too far and ruin things. Sure I could reset the image to RAW status, but then that starts the whole process over again. I get very sick of looking at screens. But my dilemma is determining whether or not film has a place in my process. As I've stated before we live on a boat and space is at a premium, so no room for a sprawling dark room, or a lot of peripheral equipment like developing tanks, trays, enlargers etc. Additionally, how much can I afford film when you factor in the cost of the film itself, and the chemicals to develop it. And finally, if I take a hybrid approach will I like the results.

And in between all of that there's the question of should I spend the money? Should I just stick to the two D700 bodies that I have? Am I just searching for that creative feeling that film gives me, but not fully realizing it with digital? Am I not doing something right with digital, and could I change something to make it more satisfying?

Have I just gone mad?

It sounds like you're ripe to try your hand at film shooting again. In my experience, at least, it can be very therapeutic.

FWIW, I'm a software engineer and spend all day every day looking at a computer screen. When I was shooting digital I'd spend my spare time back in front of the computer screen to view and post-process my photos. I hated every minute of it. When I started photography it was to get a break from the computer screen, not to spend more hours in front of it. So I bought a film camera, set up a small darkroom at home and haven't looked back. I do scan my photos to use as digital contact sheets, but that process can run mostly unattended. I find that my scans from film require very little in the way of tweaking in order to look presentable for sharing on social media, photo forums like this one, etc.

I don't have a ton of room for a darkroom either, but I bought a Nova slot processor that can handle up to 11"x14" prints and it has a very small footprint - much smaller than the equivalent of 3 or more 11"x14" trays. The other nice thing about it is that you leave the chemistry in it for about 3 months before it needs to be cleaned and refilled, so it saves setup/teardown time. I have mine on a small stand in a bathroom that I can wheel out of the way when I'm done with it. My print washer (A Nova Washmaster Eco) is also tucked away in a corner of the bathroom. My dry space is in a spare bedroom where I have two enlargers, a dry mount press, etc. I use a small paper safe to carry an undeveloped print from the dry space to the wet space. This setup has been working out really well.

In terms of cost, film cameras can be picked up dirt cheap. I recently bought a Nikon FM with a 50mm Nikon lens in mint shape for $150. It works perfectly although I don't use it as my primary camera. Used enlargers are also very cheap these days so you won't incur much expense there. Depending on where you live, the Nova products (if you go that route) are kind of pricey, mostly because of the shipping from the UK since there's no US distributor. They've been worth it to me but you can always try and get by with trays if you can find the space. All in all I think you can get yourself into analog photography for a fairly modest investment.

Best of luck and I hope you find what you're looking for.

 

[jtk]

I love photography. Through a lot of soul searching, reading, and journaling recently, I know that I want to push myself to be more creative than I ever have been. "Just shoot" is a common thing that I've been told.

If I were to be told that I could only do photography one way, it would be a full analog method. The slow, thoughtful shooting, followed by the chemical processes, and magic appearance of film on silver paper has always gotten me excited. It's a very zen feeling.

But digital has its place in my current processes also. The immediate ability to see a photo, the lower cost per frame, and the ease of perfecting an image through digital editing, all make it a viable method for me.

At the current time I'm strictly digital, but I'd like to be able to do both. I have an opportunity to pick up an F5 at a good price, and I think it would pair well with my D700's. But I'm torn as to whether or not I should for many different reasons.

In the time it's taken me to type this post, this far, I've decided that I WAS going to buy it, then I WASN'T going to buy it, and I've closed this browser window at least four times. Thankfully apug saves my drafts each time.

I don't really know that I'm asking for any advice, or even what that advice would be, but if you have any, please feel free to share. Especially if you've ever been in a position like this.

I mean in the grand scheme of things, its probably over analyzation at its finest, but I need somewhere to turn and it's not like I can meet a group of photographer friends at the coffee shop for a chat. At least for another month or two anyway....

Stop buying stuff. Stop shopping. Stop talking to other purported photographers about their equipment.

Photrio MEMBERS occasionally do express interest in photographic images, rather than techniques and equipment. That's why I mostly post about images.

 

[MattKing]

My one piece of advice on all this is: play.
Try out the F5. Have some fun with it. See if you stumble on something that resonates with you.
If you do, it is worthwhile taking it more seriously.
Otherwise, enjoy the fun. It has its own value.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

My one piece of advice on all this is: play.
Try out the F5. Have some fun with it. See if you stumble on something that resonates with you.
If you do, it is worthwhile taking it more seriously.
Otherwise, enjoy the fun. It has its own value.

I will. I bought it. And I ordered 4 rolls of film from Freestyle. Tmax and TriX 400. I've always shot TriX but I wanted to compare the two.

 

[BradS]

---snip ---

I've got almost 20000 images on hard drives that I've never done anything with. And for the life of me, I can't make myself sit down long enough to prepare them for printing. And honestly, if I do sit down and edit them, I usually take them too far and ruin things. Sure I could reset the image to RAW status, but then that starts the whole process over again. I get very sick of looking at screens.....

I don't know much about digital image making but, if what you say is true then, it seems like digital is not right for you...not at all.
Why continue to do something if there is no joy in it (and nobody's paying you)?

No, if you don't love it, stop doing it. Sell all that digital gear or pack it up and put it away and don't get it out again for a long time. Get one simple film camera and one lens. You don't have room for a darkroom and you don't have chemicals nor the other equipment to process film...no problem, find a lab, preferably local, that'll develop color negative film and make prints. Use one camera, one lens and one color negative film...try it for a while. Do not add any more gear or other shit to the equation. If you don't love it, stop doing it. try something else. Nobody can tell you what you will love.

 

[BradS]

I will. I bought it. And I ordered 4 rolls of film from Freestyle. Tmax and TriX 400. I've always shot TriX but I wanted to compare the two.

Right on! let us know how it goes.

 

[John Bragg]

I will. I bought it. And I ordered 4 rolls of film from Freestyle. Tmax and TriX 400. I've always shot TriX but I wanted to compare the two.

There is a good reason why Tri-X is still around. Not everyone likes the smooth rendition of T-max. T-max takes longer to fix as well. Also, don't discount Ilford films. I shot Tri-X exclusively for years, but moved seamlessly onto Ilford HP5+ a while ago for various reasons, including cost, and it is every bit as good.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

I don't know much about digital image making but, if what you say is true then, it seems like digital is not right for you...not at all.

it’s quite true. 413k images were wedding images from my own camera and at least two other photographers dating back to 2009. The remaining 20k files are personal images dating back to 2009 that I haven’t gone through, can’t bring myself to get rid of, or family photos.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

There is a good reason why Tri-X is still around. Not everyone likes the smooth rendition of T-max. T-max takes longer to fix as well. Also, don't discount Ilford films. I shot Tri-X exclusively for years, but moved seamlessly onto Ilford HP5+ a while ago for various reasons, including cost, and it is every bit as good.

I’ve shot HP5 in 35 and 120 as well. I’m just a TriX person and trying to branch out. Tmax is my first venture, maybe I’ll try Ilford thereafter.

 

[John Bragg]

I’ve shot HP5 in 35 and 120 as well. I’m just a TriX person and trying to branch out. Tmax is my first venture, maybe I’ll try Ilford thereafter.

Sadly Tri-x is considerably more expensive than HP5+ in the UK. I do not regret the change and I find HP5+ a very dependable and pleasant film in every way. Good luck and I hope you enjoy your F5 as much as I do mine.

 

[mmerig]

My mind is full of imagination and creation, it's how to materialize that creativity that I'm struggling with. . . . . .

I am sorry that I mis-read the situation you are dealing with.

Part of the problem is that my way of doing things may be unusual.

Often, when looking at something, I just imagine what a picture of it would be like, and how I would approach it, but don't take a picture (even if I have a camera with me). Just thinking about it is good enough. This is a great way to save on film etc., but something tells me that not having a tangible result may not work for you.

But your thousands of digital images is a tangible result of sorts. On a two-week trip in the mountains, I took about 12 photos, and my friend Tom, who was a professional photographer, took over 6000 (guess who had a film camera). I asked him how he ever dealt with so many images, and he said he just looked at them real fast on the screen when he got home, and picked the best ones and got rid of the rest. I wonder if that approach would work for you.

Anyway, I hope it all works out for you, and it's great that you swung for the fences and got that F5.

 

[TheFlyingCamera]

Given some of the struggles you're \having, it might be a better investment to take a class o\r two, so you can explore some of your ideas in a formalized setting. Another option would be to build yourself a pinhole camera that shoots 4x5. Then you have the benefit of working with big film, and near zero cost for the camera Pinhole imposes its own discipline in that you have to think carefully about the parameters you can control, and freeing you from thinking about other parameters because either they're beyond your control You'll have to take into account the reciprocity factor on almost every exposure. And while everything in the scene will be equally sharp, nothing will be razor sharp either. But your cost of entry is $15 for a good used 4x5 sheet film holder and a couple of bucks for the rest of the camera because you can adapt a shoe box.

This is just an example, not meant to be a directive or commandment. It's something you can do without a huge darkroom investment because you can make contact prints with a piece of plate glass and a light bulb. Look into some alternative processes like cyanotype, lumen printing or gum bichromate to give you some more creative options that you can do in a low-to-no darkroom environment. There are literally thousands of ways you can make images that inspire your creativity, if that's what you want to do.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

I asked him how he ever dealt with so many images, and he said he just looked at them real fast on the screen when he got home, and picked the best ones and got rid of the rest. I wonder if that approach would work for you.

.

Believe it or not, that's how I USED to shoot. When I started shooting weddings with digital, it was very common to return home with 1500 images or more just on my camera, and my partner would shoot the same or more. Over the years I was able to curb the desire to click and was then able to shoot a wedding in 500 images or less, which is still more than I preferred. I used to keep my digital bodies on 'continuous' and now I keep it on 'single'.

My digital images are tangible in some way, and they can actually become physical in nature, but I rarely make it past the upload or minor edits. I've often said that I'm going to sit down one day and go through every image I have, and send the best ones off for at least a single 4x6 print. I just have yet to sit still long enough to get it accomplished.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

But your cost of entry is $15 for a good used 4x5 sheet film holder and a couple of bucks for the rest of the camera because you can adapt a shoe box.

I carried some 4x5 film holders around in my camera bag for about 5 or 6 years. They were left over from the short period of time that I owned a Speed graphic. If I'm not mistaken, I believe I just threw them out last week or week before during a camera bag clean out. I think I had 4 of them. I'll have to check, but I'm pretty sure they are gone.

 

[ChristopherCoy]

I wanted to take a moment and thank all of you who responded. After sleeping on it, I realize that yesterdays "crisis" wasn't really a crisis, and more of just a temporary hurdle that probably shouldn't have required so much thought on my part. I have a tendency to fixate on things far beyond the moment that I am in, and the result was well illustrated. However, all of you have given extremely good advice, and presented options and ideas to think about.

The F5 will be here on Thursday and hopefully Freestyle will be able to ship my film order soon.