I'll try to answer you, Ed.
No, you probably never did receive a "proper" critique. The problem is, one doesn't know that until one receives a proper one. Where might one get one? NEVER in a camera club; rarely in a college or university; sometimes in a workshop; and just about never from amateur photographers (not that there is anything wrong with being an amateur, but I cannot think of another word here--what I mean is someone whose lifes work is something other than making photographs), and usually by a photograph whose work you have the highest respect for who is also a teacher. There are a handful of these people around, but it can take considerable effort to locate them. Many, many years ago, it took me three years to get to the one person I wanted to comment about my photographs (not anyone whose name you or others would be likely to recognize). His comments were minimal, but extraordinarily helpful. When, in the early 1970s I taught my series of advanced classes--private classes with guests such as Arbus, Michals, Caponigro, Friedlander, Kertesz, W.E. Smith, Ueslmann, and on and on, I found that only one of them gave better critiques than I did, and I learned from him. Some of the others critiques were useful to the students, some were not. Was most interesting.
No I do not disagree with "all" of your comments. Just all of those I read that one day--the only day I ever read that stuff or looked at the gallery. You were praising work that could have been a lot better. The function of such "kind" comments can only be to make people complacent. If you know, personally, the photographers involved and know they are emotionally fragile, there is some justification for your comments, but still, without a caveat on how they could be improved I believe such comments are destructive.
I looked at "Lips." The reason I did not do so before was that my comments were not about that photograph. I was just using it, as an anonymous photograph, as an example of a point I was making. but I looked. Someone suggested cropped out the lips???? And you listen to these people and subject yourself to that crap?
Your own desire to be kind is not shallow. I never implied it was. I do believe, however, that such desires can be as destructive as ones that are deliberately ill intentioned, so I would be careful with them.
Yes, "Different, Unique, Fresh, Thought-provoking ... Beautiful" are all very nice and are things to be sought, but so is better. Better, as in, well, better. And after that, better yet. As an artist, one is never satisfied, or is so only momentarily. It is that desire to make work BETTER than drives artists. Actually, I will take back my comment that your list includes things to be sought.
One should never TRY to be different, unique, fresh, or thought-provoking. One should try to make the BEST WORK one is capable of. I'll quote Picasso here, "The artist who tries to be original deceives him/herself. If he/she achieves anything at all it will only be an imitation of what he/she likes." If one does ones best work and constantly pushes at ones own limits the work may indeed be fresh, unique, different, thought-provoking and beautiful--but those are never things one TRIES to do. (Unless one went to art school, in which case they are so confused that 99% soon stop working in the field, but that is a whole other discussion. Let's not pursue it here--it was dealt with in another topic.) These things, "different, unique, fresh, or thought-provoking" happen or not. Just like happiness. Happiness is nothing to strive for, it is something that overtakes one in the course of leading a full life.
The goal is to always get BETTER. I'm not sure why you are afraid of that word. Is it becasue it implies a value judgement? What does better mean? It means deeper, more full of life, more resonant. It means having a greater capability to connect us to the world and to each other. How is that done: by making pictures better, both visually and technically. What is better--and here we come round to the beginning--if you do not know, a good critique will help get you started.