should the seller wait to answer the questions of that person, or should he sell it to the person who is actively ready to buy at that moment. It's really a factor of being polite versus being business savvy
I disagree.
From the seller's point of view, they're saying, "I have this item for sale. Who wants it?"...he has one reply that asks a question and one reply that says "I'll take it."...that's a no-brainer. The first reply is making conversation, while the second reply is actively engaging you in the transaction process.
This is why, as a buyer, it's important to make your intentions abundantly clear.
In that same situation, if I were the first responder, and I seriously was planning on buying the item provided the answer to that one question meets my expectations, my first PM would read more as, "Hi, I'd like to buy the 1978 Canikon Widget XW you posted for sale, provided you can confirm that the automatic meat slicer appendage still works. If so, I can arrange your PayPal transfer as soon as I get confirmation, but if that doesn't work, I'm afraid I'm not interested, as I plan to use the Widget XW in my flying deli."
Just asking, "Does the meat slicer appendage still work?" doesn't even mention the possibility of transaction, where the fuller reply above makes it very clear.
As a seller, if I got that full inquiry, then minutes later, a second PM that says, "I'll take it.", I'd likely respond to the second caller, "Thanks for your interest. I already have a prospective buyer who contacted me first, but if that arrangement falls through, you're next in line!"
I also personally hate paying shipping, and I think it's sort of funny when people who sell in the US only refuse to eat the $12 shipping cost on a $600 item, it's like a little stab wound for me, so I always offer $600 even with something like that. And no I'm not paying your PayPal fees either, if you choose to use PayPal then you should except the fees involved in the protection that PayPal gives you and not try to weasel it out of your buyer, I also find that insulting. I know it's all perspective, you could easily build that into the price of the initial item, but I think it's just really annoying when they try to build it into the additional costs afterwards.
This is highly subjective. I never take offense at the way a seller has constructed the transaction...the fees and details are no different from the price, in my eyes. If I find the whole enchilada unacceptable, I don't respond.
If the seller doesn't indicate that their terms are firm, I may counter-offer that I'm willing to buy right now, IF they pick up the fees (or on CL if they're willing to come to me), but that's only in rare cases.
That all being said, I *do* however, find it completely objectionable for a seller from CL I'm meeting in person to try to change the terms of the agreement once we meet...with the hope that since I've already put this much effort into the deal, that I'll just grin and bear it.
I've only had this happen a handful of times, but each time, I've stood my ground...once even resulting in a no-deal for an item I'd driven nearly 90 minutes to buy. In most cases though, they're just trying for more money, but will settle for the agreed upon terms. I had a guy sell me a flash for like $200...but he didn't specifically say that the gels in the picture were included. At the meetup, he said the gels would be an extra $50, so I said 'keep em'. Another time, the pics of a lens had no filter shown, but at the meetup, there was a UV filter mounted. Eventually the seller mentioned that the filter was too big for her other lenses, so she was throwing it in...for another $40. So I unscrewed it and handed it back to her. She argued that she had no use for it, and I responded that that wasn't in any way something I should have to pay for, and that forcing me to buy it would result in a no-deal...so she took it back.
It's about respect...you can stay firm, negotiate, and drive a hard bargain without disrespecting the other party.