I expect I shall regret jumping into this thread, but I'm feeling reckless today; and I can always mute it if it goes even further sideways
You need to try harder, john; also a magic incantation is required (which I have vowed not to reveal).
I tried this years ago when I was first fussing about with Caffenol.
Ascorbic acid powder and Caustic soda in solution will develop film, and very quickly too. Unfortunately it's such a high contrast developer that you almost don't get any midtones at all. Washing soda instead of Caustic slows it down (lower pH) somewhat, but it's still rather unsatisfactory.
Adding coffee slows it down a bit more and by superadditivity (it is assumed) makes it into a useful developer.
Saying 'ascorbic acid does most of the work in Caffenol' is a bit like saying 'in D76, metol does most of the work, so we can disregard the hydroquinone'
PE has been heard to say something to the effect that experimental results always trump theory. And faced with your experience versus someone else's unevidenced theory, I'm inclined to your side of the bargain ...