From the fine makers of the DIY Tripod Stability Bushing Made From Automotive Thermostat Self-adhering Gasket Material and the Flash-O-Matic 35MM Matchbox Pinhole Camera come two brand new items for your approval.
1. The All New '75mm Wollensak Anistigmat 4.5 MD Mount Bellows Style Adjustable Lens'. That's right, just take a perfectly working 6x6 Wirgin folder, remove the shutter/aperture/bellows assembly from the front window, remove the base only from a junk Minolta MD mount lens, electric tape them together et VIOLA! Presto chango. This baby, when focused to infinity has a near infinity focus when drawn back againast the MD mounting base and about a 18" (45cm) focal distance when fully extended. When focused at 3ft, it becomes a 4x macro lens. Perspective adjustments, rise, drop, shift, tilt, swing, this little diddy has got it all. And no need to figure out those friggin f stop thingies, the lens has the aperture built in with automatic, full-time DOF preview mode. All for the unbelieveable price of it didn't cost me one damn red cent. And also intorducing . . .
2. The brand new 'WALRA-LUX 2008'. The latest in medium format photography. All you need is the desire to rip apart your perfectly operational Wirgin 6x6 folder to mimic some online schlep's attempt at boredom and heresy in making some stupid-ass 35mm perspective bellows lens that probably won't work but what the hell. Cut out your cardboard pinhole board and cover it with electrical tape, mount a strip of aluminum foil to the inside, coat with a black Sharpie, pierce the hole, more electrical tape to mount the lensboard to the body, fabricate a cover with, you guessed it, MORE FRIGGIN CARDBOARD! Tape a hinge into it and HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA. You gotta brand new 60 year old redirected camera from post war Germany and the back of a Steno pad. Still working on the friggin f stop thingies on this beauty. And don't forget to cover that pesky tripod thread hole, it goes all the way through.
Almost got by me but here at Walrath Technologies we pride ourselves in being thorough. Dipsticks. Call to order today at 1-800-438-7325. That's 1-800-GET-REAL! Don't delay. Offer only good while supplies last. And what offer might that be you ask? Why, the chance to ridicule me. For FREE. Too good to pass up, you're absolutely correct. Thank you again. You've made me what I am today.
Walrath Technologies.
Wherever there's a stupid idea, well, we're probably somewhere nearby.
And for those who might wish to help me out here (no psychologists please, against the court order). After scraping yourself from the floor after bouts of hysterically raucous laughter, I made the pinhole with the end of a smaller sewing needle and the distance from the pinhole to the film plane is roughly 1 5/32" (~ 27mm) or so. I'm thinking the needle at about .1 mm so prob somewhere around f-270? Lemme know what you think. I suppose the thing to do would be to take the needle to work and mike it but then I would be carrying a limp, wrinkled lens, a box with cardboard electrical-taped all over it and a sewing kit. I'm not afraid of emasculation or anything but . . .
1. The All New '75mm Wollensak Anistigmat 4.5 MD Mount Bellows Style Adjustable Lens'. That's right, just take a perfectly working 6x6 Wirgin folder, remove the shutter/aperture/bellows assembly from the front window, remove the base only from a junk Minolta MD mount lens, electric tape them together et VIOLA! Presto chango. This baby, when focused to infinity has a near infinity focus when drawn back againast the MD mounting base and about a 18" (45cm) focal distance when fully extended. When focused at 3ft, it becomes a 4x macro lens. Perspective adjustments, rise, drop, shift, tilt, swing, this little diddy has got it all. And no need to figure out those friggin f stop thingies, the lens has the aperture built in with automatic, full-time DOF preview mode. All for the unbelieveable price of it didn't cost me one damn red cent. And also intorducing . . .
2. The brand new 'WALRA-LUX 2008'. The latest in medium format photography. All you need is the desire to rip apart your perfectly operational Wirgin 6x6 folder to mimic some online schlep's attempt at boredom and heresy in making some stupid-ass 35mm perspective bellows lens that probably won't work but what the hell. Cut out your cardboard pinhole board and cover it with electrical tape, mount a strip of aluminum foil to the inside, coat with a black Sharpie, pierce the hole, more electrical tape to mount the lensboard to the body, fabricate a cover with, you guessed it, MORE FRIGGIN CARDBOARD! Tape a hinge into it and HUBBA HUBBA HUBBA. You gotta brand new 60 year old redirected camera from post war Germany and the back of a Steno pad. Still working on the friggin f stop thingies on this beauty. And don't forget to cover that pesky tripod thread hole, it goes all the way through.
Almost got by me but here at Walrath Technologies we pride ourselves in being thorough. Dipsticks. Call to order today at 1-800-438-7325. That's 1-800-GET-REAL! Don't delay. Offer only good while supplies last. And what offer might that be you ask? Why, the chance to ridicule me. For FREE. Too good to pass up, you're absolutely correct. Thank you again. You've made me what I am today.
Walrath Technologies.
Wherever there's a stupid idea, well, we're probably somewhere nearby.
And for those who might wish to help me out here (no psychologists please, against the court order). After scraping yourself from the floor after bouts of hysterically raucous laughter, I made the pinhole with the end of a smaller sewing needle and the distance from the pinhole to the film plane is roughly 1 5/32" (~ 27mm) or so. I'm thinking the needle at about .1 mm so prob somewhere around f-270? Lemme know what you think. I suppose the thing to do would be to take the needle to work and mike it but then I would be carrying a limp, wrinkled lens, a box with cardboard electrical-taped all over it and a sewing kit. I'm not afraid of emasculation or anything but . . .
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