Neil, The vertical crop of your original picture is good and takes away all of the light sections of the image that our eyes are drawn towards, however, I do think cropping from the right side has made the picture, as presented, too tight and centred too much on your subject. I think that just a crop from the top would be about right, but of course your thoughts are what count.
As for the other two.
The outdoors one, I'm not that keen on, your subject is competing with a very busy and similarly bright background that sort of takes ones eyes away from the subject.
The indoors one is a lot better with regard to light other than what is upon your subject, but I do think the bright object on the right side should be toned down, or if in a darkroom, burnt in to a similar colour of the surrounding material. A dappled light reflector (crumpled aluminium foil for instance) would seem to me to have been beneficial. That said, I myself have often wished I had used a reflector after the fact.
For product photography, where the product was clothing, we often had a darkish background and would lift the model and clothes with a vertical shaped reflector, which was usually nothing more than a piece of chipboard roughly the same size and shape as the model and covered with crumpled aluminium foil.
All in all though, I think you are streets ahead of most of us.
Mick.