For some, photography is a "hobby" in that it is something that occupies time, and stimulates the mind and mind only.
The darkroom in particular can be a place of zen, where the simple, repetitive actions required to process film are their own rewardslike counting beads or rolling boading balls around the palm.
But for others, and I suspect for most, photography is a source of existential meaningidentity. We take photographs because they creative a visual narrative for our lives that we control. We are photographers because we thrive on the rewards of what sharing our photographs with others brings, as well as in the professional sense, what it contributes to our careers.
You said you were a lab tech for 31 years.
31 years!
And then, suddenly, laid off.
I have never been at a job for more than 3 years, let alone 30. And each time I leave or am (honorably) fired from one, I have emotions around that life-changing event.
Is it possible that what you are feeling, your doubts about what is "normal" or not normal about the motivation to do something you once loved has evaporated for reasons that are deeper and more complex than a simple ebb and flow of the mind's search for a hobby that stimulates?
I think you should consider that possibility.
I think you should consider what photography meant to you as a professional, what it means to you, as a person, today, and how entwined your identity was and is with the craft of photography, and whether your layoff, as well as retirement, age, and other recent life events may be contributing to loss of your enthusiasm.
The darkroom in particular can be a place of zen, where the simple, repetitive actions required to process film are their own rewardslike counting beads or rolling boading balls around the palm.
But for others, and I suspect for most, photography is a source of existential meaningidentity. We take photographs because they creative a visual narrative for our lives that we control. We are photographers because we thrive on the rewards of what sharing our photographs with others brings, as well as in the professional sense, what it contributes to our careers.
You said you were a lab tech for 31 years.
31 years!
And then, suddenly, laid off.
I have never been at a job for more than 3 years, let alone 30. And each time I leave or am (honorably) fired from one, I have emotions around that life-changing event.
Is it possible that what you are feeling, your doubts about what is "normal" or not normal about the motivation to do something you once loved has evaporated for reasons that are deeper and more complex than a simple ebb and flow of the mind's search for a hobby that stimulates?
I think you should consider that possibility.
I think you should consider what photography meant to you as a professional, what it means to you, as a person, today, and how entwined your identity was and is with the craft of photography, and whether your layoff, as well as retirement, age, and other recent life events may be contributing to loss of your enthusiasm.