"What's an MFer like me to do?"
Ha ha. You are a self-described cheap MFer...maybe that's why they were giving you such trouble.
The only way to get 100% satisfaction would be to develop your own. You said you are a cheap MFer. Not cheap enough to develop your own though...which would save you a ton of money, and help keep the chemicals alive for the rest of us.
Also, I would say that if he does not routinely do medium and large format, then he is not a "pro" lab. Any "pro" lab is full service without hassle. If there is something they don't offer, they'll find someone who does and send it to them.
In short, do your own, or send your stuff to a real lab. Unfortunately, this is the only way to make 90% sure that things will be OK.
I can't help but wonder what you all mean when you say "pro" lab, after all of these posts here. To me, a pro lab is a lab that can cater to *any* professional lab needs of a photographer with high quality results and excellent customer service. If medium format is an oddity, or they don't have any actual enlargers to make prints by hand, they are not a pro lab, plain and simple. They may be in business, and may even make a profit, but they are not pros.
This is not meant to spark another endless "how is 'pro' defined debate". Perhaps I am just lucky to live within driving distance of A and I, so I am spoiled. No lab is without its problems or mistakes, but I still maintain that a pro lab is full service, offering anything a pro photographer (this includes commercial, fine art, and editorial) *might* need.
By this definition, and pure spatial necessity, the place would also have to be industrial sized, not located in a mini mall. A pro lab has a dip and dunk processor, a Kreonite, 8x10 enlargers, commercial inkjet printers, lightjet printers, drum scanners, a digital darkroom, a wet black and white lab, offers custom printing and proofing, custom digital editing, lightbox service, you name it, *and* the staff to operate it all, manage the customers, and mange the business end of things.
It comes down to this: If the lab cannot take something from straight out of your camera (*any* camera) and get it to a point where it can be delivered to a client and/or hung on a wall, they are not a "pro" lab.
Ironically enough, you yourself listed one of the most affordable ways to get work done at a pro lab: drop it off at Wal Mart. If it is something "weird", they will send it to Fuji. If you are worried, include special instructions.
Additionally, medium and large format customers are probably the only reason "true" pro labs still do film at all. There is no need for a Refrema, DeVere 8x10s, and a wet lab if people are just bringing in their 24-exposure WalMart brand vacation pix to get developing and low rez scans.
And I think we all have to admit that our beloved true pro labs would all go belly up if they did not do digital work primarily. Thus, we should not totally shun digital. In this way, it is keeping film alive to a degree.