Ho, Curt;
Thank you for the nice thoughts. Yes, I think I have finally recovered. I did say that I had established this interesting working relationship with KEH. I spoke with the salesman I usually contact, and he did say that I had been one of his best customers. Yes, that is why they sent to me the Christmas card.
A few years back, I never thought that I would be able to make this statement, but I can: There is life after child support. My last child was worth $ 756 per month. In looking back, I made a lot of money; I just did not get to spend very much money while my children were at home. I remember when he left the home, and my first paycheck came through with all of it intact. Oddly enough, the feeling was one of relief. It was finally over. I had survived. Not totally unscathed, but I did survive. 20 years of trying to deal with the Office of Support Enforcement were finally over. Now I have replaced most of the things that were gone, but not all. I have even acquired some of the things I wanted earlier, but could not afford then. Some of the books are no longer available. The negatives and photographs and similar things are irreplaceable. This is reality in the Domestic Relations Division of the Superior Court System of this State. What did I learn from that 20 years plus the time in Court? "If you have indoor plumbing, you can't do anything wrong. If you have outdoor plumbing, you can't do anything right."
What suggestions can I offer to others to help prevent them from getting into a similar situatiion? I am not sure. Remember, I did not succeed in this endeavor, so I am not sure that I can offer any effective counsel. I fought it for four and one-half years, but I did fail. I really made some winners very happy from the income they gained. The "winners?" Most people call them lawyers. I got to pay several. My main one bought a new GMC 4WD Suburban for his wife with my payments.
Am I in the "never to get married again group?" Well, there are a couple of things here. I do not think that there is a rational woman alive in the United States who would seriously take on a man with an existing child support obligation, if she considers what could happen to her own resources by establishing a state recognized linkage to him. While here they say that they will not attach her income and assets, they have been known to say that he was actually being supported by her, so they increased his child support obligation from the normal 50 % standard maximum of his paycheck to 85 %. My social life has been altered. It is not the same. Now that I have reached the retirement years, there does not seem to be as much of a feeling of need to be married. Then there is still the horrible financial and credit record I acquired from all of those years. If I did get married, yes, it would affect the credit rating of the woman also.
One of the benefits is that during that time period, I did learn to live very frugally.
Enjoy;
Ralph Javins
