I feel you, totally. For all the reasons you've cited, I would love to have 220 film available. As I mentioned in a previous post, I *do* have lots of 220 color film--C-41 and E-6--and now that I've finally gotten my JOBO machine out of storage 1,000 miles away from me, I'm going to use more of it. But I do love shooting black and white, too--that's what I shoot far and away most often and it would be great to have 220 film available.
To address your particular desires, it's not *too* much harder, if potentially more expensive, to adapt reasonably satisfactorily to 120. I have multiple 120 backs for my Hasselblad (I used to also for my RZ67, but I'm down to one now), and I just keep them all loaded. It only takes a few seconds to swap a back, so you can get off 24 or 36 shots fairly quickly, before taking a break to reload them all at once. (Or, if you're lucky enough to have an assistant--just have *them* reload for you!) And rather than using steel reels, I've got some JOBO tanks that can fit two rolls of film onto a single reel (with a stop between them to prevent overlapping). The tanks themselves, with the extenders JOBO also made, can take three medium format reels, so I can develop six rolls at a time. It only takes a few seconds more to load the second roll on than it would to load a full roll of 220, and you can use them for hand developing every bit as effectively as using them with a machine.
You might, to at least alleviate part of your problem, shop for the JOBO tanks/tank extenders and reels. You can effectively develop double the number of rolls in them that you could in a steel or Paterson tank, say, and that will ease some of the pain regarding your last point.