N80 is the shiz for a starter.
Does everything, can be full manual, but... it does not do too much. Still has a program auto mode, and a little flash for party photos or fill flash at sunset or whatever, so it'll do what young photographers like to do, whatever that is.
Honestly, I have several young women friends who have all manual cameras. One was super frustrated at first, even though she has a really nice old Minolta, but she carries a work record with her all the time now and has had to sneak up on the all-manual stuff. She got there, but only after backing away from the all manual and learning some.
Another was always reticent to carry her vintage cameras and shoot in anything but full sun, but now she uses my 8008 regularly. Another I purchased Huss' old N75 and sold that to her, and I would recommend that except the N80 you can set ISO so you don't have to have DX encoding, where the N75 needs dx encoded film.
The fact that I have that many 20 year old friends is a story for another time, but the point is that they all used the auto exposure "help" to keep them from being scared of wasting film. All of these stepping stone cameras got them over the hump and they can all shoot manual or aperture priority now.
Having used the N80 now (and just reloaded it, I'm taking it out tonight) I'll tell you, it is PERFECT for this. All it has is ISO, P A S M modes, really good metering, and the controls you use 99% of the time. Not intimidating, powerful enough, just enough help to make the transition from P&S to SLR.
I've used a Canon rebel, BTW. Someone mentioned it. It's the same, simple and good, but the viewfinder isn't as nice as the Nikon and, if you already have Nikon lenses to share, get the N80. I am 99 44/100% certain that it is a perfect first SLR.