Interesting discussion.
I think it goes without saying that women have a much easier time with this than men. Doesn't mean we're always off the hook where parents are concerned, but I think we present much less of a perceived threat.
Most of my candids were taken with prior parental consent. I tend to like to photograph the children in my neighborhood. I've talked with the parents of all the neighborhood kids, and explained my work, directing them to my website. Without exception, every one of them has given me permission to photograph their kids should a situation ever present itself. That allows me to shoot candidly and freely without crossing any comfort zones with the parents.
Where children are concerned, I think there's a wide gap between what's legal and what's kind. While I obviously don't agree with people assaulting photographers, I totally understand parents' concerns with an unknown person pointing their lens at my child. I think any responsible parent would question the photographer, which of course is their right.
Although I have a legal right to photograph people in public (which does not necessarily include the right to sell or publish the images) I don't photograph any children without asking the parents' permission first. I just consider it a courtesy. I've never been turned down when I've asked. I always have business cards on me, which helps a lot, and I'm very conscious of my facial expressions and body language. I find it easy to blend in with the kids and, because of the nature of my work, I'm good at looking very non-threatening both to adults and kids. Kinda hard to feel threatened by a goofy-looking girl wearing a T-shirt with a monkey on it, carrying a reasonably sized non-stealth camera. Now, if I was a man dressed in head-to-toe black with sunglasses and a big pack of camera gear thrown over my shoulder -- well, not so good.
I just can't be too hard on parents for worrying about their kids. I won't defend the over-the-top reactions, but I understand the fears, and I don't want to cause them any anxiety.
- CJ