The thing I fear the most is not success or the lack of it, but the fear of being somehow fraudulant. Is the effort I make to produce good photographs, or the effort to become a good craftsman in the darkroom worthy? By this I mean, are my motives simple and honest or do I really aspire for some recognition for something more noble than I could ever produce. My decision to emerse myself in the study of photography crosses over into all the other aspects of my life. It takes time and energy away from my work, my family, and somethimes from my financial responsiblities. Is my drive just the marriage of obseseve compulsion and selfish wants, do I hide a bad motive under a good one? The need, or desire, to produce something creative and capture something on film that conveyes a personal relationship I feel with a portrait or landscape sometimes feels like a double edged sword. I somehow will expose myself for all the world to see. Scarry sometimes. The only cure is the poison. I'm going back in the darkroom...