Do you hide your cameras from your wife?

RobertoMiglioli · Nov 24, 2012

My wife is really smart and she knows all my cameras. Now I want to buy my first Hasselblad which in no way looks like to anything I already have to tell her its the same. We live in a small apartment with no place to hide things and my baby is coming soon. She will be furious if I come home with a new camera... Any idea? Divorce is not an option.

Slixtiesix · Nov 24, 2012

Maybe selling some photo stuff you already have? That could work as an excuse. I don´t think that hiding is a good idea. It may work for someone who already has so much gear that there is no overview any more, but a single Hasselblad?

Two23 · Nov 24, 2012

Wives generally don't seem to mind when you replace one thing with something else. That's what I'd suggest in your situation. You are young and have plenty of time to slowly buy a few more things as time goes on. Your wife is worried because there is now a child involved. You won't have much time for photography for a few years now anyway.

Kent in SD

E. von Hoegh · Nov 24, 2012

RobertoMiglioli said:
My wife is really smart and she knows all my cameras. Now I want to buy my first Hasselblad which in no way looks like to anything I already have to tell her its the same. We live in a small apartment with no place to hide things and my baby is coming soon. She will be furious if I come home with a new camera... Any idea? Divorce is not an option.

Wow. That's a real problem, and it's nothing to do with cameras.

pdieten · Nov 24, 2012

Well, we don't know your wife so only you will know for sure. However I have had personal experience with this sort of thing, and my advice would be that no good will come of trying to hide it - *especially* if this camera will make a noticeable dent in your financial situation. If it were me I'd talk to the wife first and let her know you plan to sell some of your existing equipment in order to buy this. It would just be disrespectful of your wife and your family to do otherwise.

jk0592 · Nov 24, 2012

Why, just give the new Blad as a gift to your wife. You will not have to hide it, and you can "borrow" it from her whenever you want to use it...

Steve Smith · Nov 24, 2012

RobertoMiglioli said:
Divorce is not an option.

Not for you perhaps but she might have other ideas!

You could trade some of your existing cameras for it (this could be a real or an imaginary trade).

Steve.

Steve Smith · Nov 24, 2012

Another thing worth doing is to count all of your cameras and compare it with the number of pairs of shoes she has!

Steve.

E. von Hoegh · Nov 24, 2012

RobertoMiglioli said:
My wife is really smart and she knows all my cameras. Now I want to buy my first Hasselblad which in no way looks like to anything I already have to tell her its the same. We live in a small apartment with no place to hide things and my baby is coming soon. She will be furious if I come home with a new camera... Any idea? Divorce is not an option.

You live in a small aprtment, you're starting a family, you're spending money on toys instead of saving for a house, and you're hiding things from your wife.

What's wrong with this picture?

Steve Smith · Nov 24, 2012

E. von Hoegh said:
You live in a small apartment................ What's wrong with this picture?

Not enough rooms to store cameras?

Steve.

rorye · Nov 24, 2012

How about "with this camera I'll get better pictures of the baby"?

benjiboy · Nov 24, 2012

E. von Hoegh said:
You live in a small aprtment, you're starting a family, you're spending money on toys instead of saving for a house, and you're hiding things from your wife.

What's wrong with this picture?

I agree, to buy a Hasselblad in this situation is very selfish and irresponsible, I try at all times to be honest with my wife which is one of the reasons we've been happily married for 48 years.

Old-N-Feeble · Nov 24, 2012

I'm going to be quite direct. Please don't be offended...

I don't know your fiscal nor your spousal situation. I only know mine. I'm no longer married but if I was I wouldn't hide anything from her. Lack of trust is the number one cause of friction in, and ending of, relationships whether that be financially or fidelity related. Once trust is damaged it never fully recovers.

It's all about compromise from both parties. My marriage was a fiasco. I ended up selling every single thing I enjoyed... my audio equipment, my guns, all my camera gear... everything... because my wife found them inconvenient to her. I bought her many different pricey hobby tools over the years and funded all the materials she needed for them. I had nothing. Above all else I valued being a husband and father but there was virtually nothing else of me left. In retrospect I should have been a stronger man and insisted on compromise.

Hiding things and lying/keeping secrets is not the adult way to handle it. Open dialog and finding a center ground for you "both" to stand on is the only proper option. Find the strength to be a man but don't be an overbearing ogre.

Maybe a bit harsh but truth often is.

andrew.roos · Nov 24, 2012

It sounds as though you already have several cameras. I suggest you enjoy using those while you wait for the baby, and then see how things pan out financially with the baby before you commit yourself to the care and feeding of a Hassie. Babies and Hasselblads are both expensive...

thegman · Nov 24, 2012

Depends on whether you genuinely feel that you're doing the right or wrong thing. If your financial position means you don't need the money, then get the camera and be honest about it. If you really should keep the money for more important things, do that.

Submitting to a nag is a bad thing, as it only encourages the behaviour. However, being an irresponsible partner is bad too, and you should just think clearly about what is happening here.

removed account4 · Nov 24, 2012

sell off some of the cameras you already own and most likely don't use
and when you can scrape together the $$ without dipping into your savings get it.

Bob Carnie · Nov 24, 2012

My wife has way more cameras than I so no issues with me wanting gear.

Steve Smith · Nov 24, 2012

Do you have an 8x10 camera you can store it in?

Steve.

Two23 · Nov 24, 2012

Steve Smith said:
Do you have an 8x10 camera you can store it in?

Steve.

LOL, Steve! I hope you have a couch this guy can sleep on when his wife throws him out!

Kent in SD

Steve Smith · Nov 24, 2012

I have two... but don't tell my wife!

Steve.

Chris Lange · Nov 24, 2012

Perhaps my spritely age of 21 means my words are worthless in this situation, but...

A Hasselblad isn't that expensive in the grand scheme of things. If you feel like you would have to hide a $700-1000 purchase then you probably shouldn't be making it at all. There are tons of Hasselblads out there, I'm sure one will be waiting for you in a year.

RobertoMiglioli · Nov 24, 2012

Hahaha... It has been very amusing to read all sugestions. Thank you guys who expressed concern about the honest relation between husband and wife. No offense taken.

Sirius Glass · Nov 24, 2012

Old-N-Feeble said:
I'm going to be quite direct. Please don't be offended...

I don't know your fiscal nor your spousal situation. I only know mine. I'm no longer married but if I was I wouldn't hide anything from her. Lack of trust is the number one cause of friction in, and ending of, relationships whether that be financially or fidelity related. Once trust is damaged it never fully recovers.

It's all about compromise from both parties. My marriage was a fiasco. I ended up selling every single thing I enjoyed... my audio equipment, my guns, all my camera gear... everything... because my wife found them inconvenient to her. I bought her many different pricey hobby tools over the years and funded all the materials she needed for them. I had nothing. Above all else I valued being a husband and father but there was virtually nothing else of me left. In retrospect I should have been a stronger man and insisted on compromise.

Hiding things and lying/keeping secrets is not the adult way to handle it. Open dialog and finding a center ground for you "both" to stand on is the only proper option. Find the strength to be a man but don't be an overbearing ogre.

Maybe a bit harsh but truth often is.

I improved on that situation. I traded the wife in and got a girl friend who is much younger, has less mileage and is low maintenance. I have had no problems buying cameras and setting up a darkroom since.

Sirius Glass · Nov 24, 2012

RobertoMiglioli said:
My wife is really smart and she knows all my cameras. Now I want to buy my first Hasselblad which in no way looks like to anything I already have to tell her its the same. We live in a small apartment with no place to hide things and my baby is coming soon. She will be furious if I come home with a new camera... Any idea? Divorce is not an option.

Ok, there is a real easy solution to your problem. Just tell her you picked it up for $20 at a garage sale because the seller said that no one wants a film camera, especially a large bulky one. See just tell her that and everything will be ok!

Diapositivo · Nov 24, 2012

Well, you can't be a proper father-photographer without a MF to take decent portraits of your baby. Besides, you intend to take pictures of all the family gathering, especially when you invite her relatives, whom you love so dearly. They'll be proud to have beautiful large prints hanging in their living room.

It is most common amongst photographers to buy expensive digital cameras (show her prices) when a baby is born in anticipation of the thousands pictures to be taken. It is actually your precise duty as the man of the family to take care of the documentation side of the "biologic project".

Does she really want her child to never know how beautiful she was when she was young? Time for decent portraits before it's too late.

You probably have friends of your age having babies as well. Do notice their expenditure in electronic devices.

Old mechanical cameras never really lose value. Both of you can see them as a "reserve of value". A digital camera wouldn't be the same.

If nothing else work, consider begin hiding your income from her lawyer

(in general, the advice about being a real man is very valid overall. Don't let her dictate your choices. If you feel buying the Hasselblad is right, that means it is right).

Do you hide your cameras from your wife?

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