Are all these funny names here the same thing as a picture? What I really want is just a picture.
Not really, because the discussion is about a process. My cell phone makes a picture, the same as my view camera. The process, however, differs.
Many lay people, and a fair share of photographers these days trumpet process as irrelevant. The interesting thing is that if they really felt that way, they would not be so urgent in denying the effect of process on the properties of the final artifact, but rather ignore it. It's usually attributable to an ingrained personal insecurity about their own work, and chosen process. A chip on the shoulder. In some cases it goes both ways, when someone dresses a lousy photograph up with a fancy name, as if that would elevate mediocre work.
That said, almost everybody I have seen working in alt process is at a point where the content of the work is benefited by the chosen process, and mastery of an arcane skill such as platinum printing is simply a part of a particular artistic work flow, no different than any other in that way, but having distinct characteristics of its own. The rush to equate all photographic process as homogeneous to validate ones own work is as great a display of ignorance as you'll find in any field, anywhere, and is truly the bane of modern photography. It does, however, sell a lot of electronics.
I don't agree with Cardwell, in that I don't believe that the addition of palladium invalidates a platinum print as being such, as I don't believe that platinum printers feel the addition of a controlling agent constitutes some sort of deception, especially when the result of that agent happens to be as noble as the other salt.
I can describe a silver print as just silver, or silver gelatin, or silver gelatin fiber, or selenium toned silver gelatin fiber, with increasing accuracy. None would constitute a willful deception, and I can't see how describing a platinum print in short terms constitutes some sort of machination, unless one is exceedingly paranoid, and also ignorant of the process.