Weston Daybooks

ChristopherCoy

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A few weeks ago, I contacted a friend of mine and told her what I was going through. She's a fine art photographer, and a fabulous one. She suggested that I read the Daybooks, and I've started Volume 1, Mexico. I'm only 46 pages into this book and already I've had plenty to think about and contemplate.

I'm an alcoholic in recovery, and one of the biggest realizations I've made over the last few weeks was that my photographic career has very closely paralleled my life. Much in the way that I've never really finished anything in life, I've never really finished anything in photography either. Additionally, I've not ever really been satisfied with anything in my life, and the same with photography. No new car, new house, new thing could make me happy, and no new camera, new lens, or any amount of work produced could satisfy me.

It's been an eye opening experience to read that one of the great photographers struggled with some of the same things I, and I'm sure many others, struggled with. In his first show in Mexico, he had no work that pleased him. He wasn't happy with much of it. But still sold 8 or so prints, and people loved it! It was interesting to see how self critical he was.

It's getting to the point where he's starting to produce work with intent, instead of just portraiture for money, and on page 46 he mentions this:

"“Let me see, f8 1/10 sec, KI filter, panchromatic film - how mechanical and calculated it sounds, yet really how spontaneous and genuine, for I have so overcome the mechanics of my camera that it functions responsive to my desires. My shutter coordinating with my brain is released in a way as natural as I might move my arm. I am beginning to approach an actual attainment in photography that in my ego of two or three years ago I had thought to have already reached.”

I don't know why this paragraph resonated with me, but it struck me like a bag of bricks. I guess perhaps that I've changed gear so many times I've never allowed a tool to settle into the position of being an extension of me.

One of my new goals is to keep only one body and one lens with me, and put the others up (or sell them), and learn to shoot for a year with one lens. It is also one of my new goals to slow down and enjoy the process, as opposed to becoming completely consumed with it and obsessing over everything every single minute of the day.
 

BrianShaw

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Good goal...

but I put my “extra” cameras away rather than selling. Often I have a photographic goal so pick the most appropriate camera and lens. Maybe two lenses. But any more than that and I find I’m fiddling with gear and “missing shots”. Not that I’m seeing anything and not capturing it, but thinking about gear so much that I’m not seeing.

Don’t set a random goal like “a year” but consider the goal to be more “project to project “.

definitely... I’ve found that slowing down frees my mind to see things more photographically and creatively.
 
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ChristopherCoy

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That happened to me today. I scheduled time for myself and went out to our city trails that meander through the cities wooded areas. I was so busy fiddling with the tripod, and the mount, and the settings that I missed HUGE birding opportunities. I finally gave up realizing I had too much with me, and photographed some turtles and a squirrel.
 

BrianShaw

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... but we’re they good photos of the squirrel and turtles? I hope so!
 

CMoore

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"......... and photographed some turtles and a squirrel."

No way you could be a "bad person".
 

TheFlyingCamera

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I'm glad you could get something out of the Weston daybooks - I tried reading them and made it about 10 pages in and found the combination of his ego, his self-indulgence and his whininess so grating that I couldn't bear to keep reading.

I do think there's a point of futzing around with different camera gear that is beneficial - play with enough and eventually you will find one that just speaks to you and fits your vision. I was photographing for 20 years before I found a Rolleiflex in my hands and realized it was the perfect tool for me- it fit the way I saw, and it just got out of my way and let me take pictures without having to think about the camera. I've since bought other cameras that I use as tools and they fit specific niches - my Lomo Belair, for example- it's a perfect panoramic camera that, for different reasons, shares that quirk of the Rollei in that it gets out of my way and lets me be a more intuitive photographer. I've found that the more I work, the more often I use a single lens (or a pair of lenses) for photographing. Having that limitation (or minimization, if you prefer) really helps.
 

MattKing

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Don't worry about missing birding opportunities, unless you are shooting to assignment.
The futzing that gets in the way will teach you great lessons - you will either decide to learn them, and end up shooting better photos of birds, or determine that you don't need to be a great bird photographer, or arrive at a compromise that works for you.
Bird photography is a specialized niche - some of the skills associated with it are easily transferable to other specialties as well (e.g. sports photos) - but basically, unless great bird photos really move you, don't be too upset if you don't get the results you want quickly.
Something like the Weston Daybooks is useful, in that it shows everybody that people who have done really admirable work had to struggle to do it.
Not unlike sobriety - I wish you good success with yours.
 

Vaughn

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I used one camera and one lens for the first 10 years or so after college....4x5 and a 150/5.6 lens. Economics mostly, but still benefited from the experience. Then I started the slide up...5x7 to 8x10 to 11x14...over the last 30 years.

It will be a good experience! I enjoyed both Daybooks...might re-read them someday...but they are also nice to just open up and start reading. I use to have them by my desk at work.
 

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Enjoyed your post. I have had the Daybooks for quite awhile now. I recently finished the first but haven't started the second. I enjoyed it but struggled a bit to get through it. I'm glad you brought them up because this is actually a great time to start on the second one.

I find these types of photography books are more useful for me because they trigger ideas in my own mind and seem to get me started, or restarted, on my own projects. One of the more interesting thing for me is how little the gear seems to matter. All these people, whether it be Weston or Sally Mann (Hold Still is another marvelous photography book) or others always seem more concerned with the art and the print, while the camera and the lens always seem to be more in the background and less important than the subject or the process. Perhaps I can reach that point someday but I always seem to be fretting over the lens, the camera and even the film when they end up being less important background noise when the print is finally on the wall.

As for finishing things, I thought I was the champion at not finishing things so I do find it encouraging to hear that I am not the only one in that boat. Stay strong.
 
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ChristopherCoy

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TheFlyingCamera said:
I'm glad you could get something out of the Weston daybooks - I tried reading them and made it about 10 pages in and found the combination of his ego, his self-indulgence and his whininess so grating that I couldn't bear to keep reading.
Click to expand...

I do agree. The first few pages of Volume 1 were a bit difficult to get through. If you didn't go any further than 10 pages, you really should try to grunt and bear it until it gets going. At first the entries are a bit lengthy, but now they're moving day to day. It's quite interesting. I do agree that the whining and self indulgence can be a bit irritating (so can all the bull fighting descriptions), but I have a feeling that something is going change that in the future.
 
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ChristopherCoy

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I actually have no interest in bird photography whatsoever. But what I do enjoy is that it has gotten me out in nature. And now that I've gotten used to getting out on the trails, I think I'd rather shoot botanicals with a prime lens, than have to lug arround a 70-200 with a 2x TC.

ETA: What I also found interesting is that the 8 prints he sold at his first Aztec Land show were work he had previously done years before. It sort of illustrated how we can get so caught up in being frustrated that what shows up on film (or files) isn't what we saw. It's made me contemplate postponing looking at, or editing any images for at least a week or two after they are developed (or uploaded).
 
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ChristopherCoy

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[QUOTE="Pioneer, post: 2270642, member: 41424"

I find these types of photography books are more useful for me because they trigger ideas in my own mind and seem to get me started, or restarted, on my own projects. One of the more interesting thing for me is how little the gear seems to matter. All these people, whether it be Weston or Sally Mann (Hold Still is another marvelous photography book) or others always seem more concerned with the art and the print, while the camera and the lens always seem to be more in the background and less important than the subject or the process. [/QUOTE]


YES! I completely agree! It's been very eye opening and inspiring to read Weston's words, and then think about my own creativity. It reignited the passion I have for photography, and now I'm looking years down the road, instead of just days or weeks.

I'm giving myself 10 years to have my first gallery show. I'll be 50 then and I think that would be a great way to kick of my 50's.
 

Black Dog

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I found so much inspiration in the Daybooks-good luck finding yours and take care!
 

Peter Schrager

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YES! I completely agree! It's been very eye opening and inspiring to read Weston's words, and then think about my own creativity. It reignited the passion I have for photography, and now I'm looking years down the road, instead of just days or weeks.

I'm giving myself 10 years to have my first gallery show. I'll be 50 then and I think that would be a great way to kick of my 50's.[/QUOTE]
You're doing fine just go easy on yourself
Look we're all recovering or going into something...take it as a journey of self discovery and enjoy the ride...
Photography is about the moment. Savor it
You will not regret it...sending good light your way
 

jmdavis

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Artists choose to limit many things, cameras, lenses, palettes, film, darkroom processes, syllables, etc etc. It was during the trip to Mexico that Weston began to move from Platinum to Silver prints.

Compared to many contemporary photographers Weston was far from a whiner. A 1970s interview with Brett, Cole and Neil pointed out that his print prices were never above $30 during his lifetime. Adjust for inflation that would be $290 today. As a current example one of his photos printed by Cole in the 70's has a lusting for $3800. I know people who bought Brett Weston photos in the early 70s for $25. Today those prints would start at $1250.

Weston lived simply and focused on art.
 

Valerie

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Christopher... STOP SELLING YOUR EQUIPMENT!!! You know you will regret it later!
 
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ChristopherCoy

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Valerie said:
Christopher... STOP SELLING YOUR EQUIPMENT!!! You know you will regret it later!
Click to expand...

I'm not selling ALL of it! LOL Just simplifying. One digital, one film, and 2 or 3 lenses.
 

jtk

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ChristopherCoy said:
I'm not selling ALL of it! LOL Just simplifying. One digital, one film, and 2 or 3 lenses.
Click to expand...

Don't think too much about this. Just go ahead. Recognize that it's a slippery slope back to gear obsession (rather than photography). One suggestion might be to prioritize a non-zoom Nikon macro lens.
 
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ChristopherCoy

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jtk said:
Don't think too much about this. Just go ahead. Recognize that it's a slippery slope back to gear obsession (rather than photography). One suggestion might be to prioritize a non-zoom Nikon macro lens.
Click to expand...

Like the 105mm 2.8 D Micro that is on its way to me?

I went with a 105mm, a 50mm, and a 24mm. And the rest is up for sale. Strictly simple, strictly primes.
 

Eric Rose

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TheFlyingCamera said:
I'm glad you could get something out of the Weston daybooks - I tried reading them and made it about 10 pages in and found the combination of his ego, his self-indulgence and his whininess so grating that I couldn't bear to keep reading.
Click to expand...

While I love Weston's images I too was put off while trying to read his books. I plowed through, but in the end it only served as a means to understand him a bit better. I still love his images but no so much the "man".

Currently I am taking a free MOMA photography course. It's been very inspirational.
 

TheFlyingCamera

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Yeah- the images are superb, if sometimes a bit sterile. The man? From his wiitings, not sure there would be enough room in any room for more than him and his ego.
 

Vaughn

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California and the West by Wilson and Weston is a good read if you can find a copy. Great to read of their times and travels of their photographic quest thru the West. They camped a couple different times at near-by Moonstone Beach -- one of my boys' favorites growing up. Weston did not have the best of luck in the redwoods -- soft images due to camera movement and tripod sinking into the duff during the long exposures.

But besides Weston overcoming the "mechanics of my camera that it functions responsive to my desires", the book shares how he and Charis (in my mind, YMMD) surpassed the mechanics of photography to make images.

I have done a lot of backpacking down in the Grand Canyon, and a friend suggested The Man Who Walked Through Time", a non-fictional account of a man's walk through the length of the Canyon. So I took a copy with me on one of my 11-day hikes in the Canyon, read about a third of it and put it away for the rest of the trip...extra weight in my already heavy pack (w/ 4x5). I was fixing dinner (no cooking), and reading this fellow's account of him fixing dinner in the Grand Canyon. It just struck me as one of the most rediculous things I have done. Sometimes photo books and articles can hit me the same way...fortunately not the Daybooks. If anything, if Weston's whining and worries cause me to cringe a little, it is because I see the doubts and worries in myself. It is rare to read such openness and honesty in an artist's writings.
 

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I have always been drawn to Weston's simplicity from his equipment to his printing. It is very easy to assume that his methodology and his style popped out fully formed right from the beginning. But reading the Daybooks, and then California and the West (another terrific read) show this wasn't so at all. Instead he was obviously struggling along trying to find himself as an artist for a large share of his life. But in spite of all that he stayed with it and certainly did become a great artist. These books helped to describe that journey and they certainly helped to define to some extent) who the man was behind the hype of today. I'm glad we have them.
 

jvo

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you have already reached at least one HUGE milestone in your life. being in a 12 step process has taught me a lot - be nice to me; accept what is; don't make decisions, or take action, while upset, depressed, or angry; silence and doing nothing are very valuable; we are our own worst critic, (that little voice is not your friend), and more.

it hasn't made me a better photographer but i enjoy what i'm doing more and my successes are mine, and my disappointments are just that - i move on..
 

Wayne

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ChristopherCoy said:
I don't know why this paragraph resonated with me, but it struck me like a bag of bricks. I guess perhaps that I've changed gear so many times I've never allowed a tool to settle into the position of being an extension of me.
.
Click to expand...

99% of photographic talk is technical gear chatter that doesn't matter a bit and often gets in the way when it comes to making great images. Its not that Weston didn't know what he needed to know, but internalized it so well that he could just act intuitively on it. Most of us don't have the time or dedication to get to that point. I've only caught a whiff of it during rare, months-long photo trips that I used to be able to afford. Things juuuuuuust started to feel automatic,. but then life comes back and you lose a lot of it again.
 
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