If you want the convenience of C-41 lab processing, I would second Casey Kidwell's suggestion that you try one of the Kodak Portra films and adjust the tones in that popular professional editing software. Not only can you control the contrast, but you can adjust the gray tones by adjusting color as well. It's either that or XP-2. Try a good bracket of exposures on XP-2, print each frame for comparison, and see if you like the results. If you want to try a b&w film as a replacement, I'd recommend the T-Max 400 as well. Good speed, fine grain, and you or your lab can pin down the right process.
Peter Gomena