STOP posting OFFENSIVE images!!!

arigram · Sep 5, 2008

I've had it with you inconsiderate, senseless, perverted sinners!
Why do you do that?
Why do you keep posting that highly offensive drivel?
Don't you have any understanding, any sort of sense left in your cold, rock-hard hearts? Don't you care about your fellow man?
WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?
Don't you know you're hurting people with your images?
I can't visit the forum because I have the sidebar on with gallery photos and your disgusting crap fills the place!
I can't visit the gallery to enjoy the good, clean, wholesome, family photographs because your thumbnails are like bird droppings among flowers.
I can't look away! I can't! I can't turn off those images! They are stuck in the back of my mind and they will torment me for ever! And I can't shut up the voices! Make it stop mommy!
Those foul images don't only hurt me, they hurt the children (because I can't protect them from the evils of the Internets all the time), they offend my religion (because they are works of SATAN), they endanger my job (we have surveillance everywhere and armed mobs patrol the place) and scare my pets (my gimp is a pretty sensitive man).
Please, for the love of all the gods in the cosmos, for what's good and beautiful in this world, give me some consideration.

List of Images that I consider OFFENSIVE and should be BANNED and the photographers CASTRATED:

- Rocks. Because I fell from a cliff when I was young and still have a photo of the mark that was there for three days. When I see rocks I remember that horrible accident and all the pain and suffering comes back.
- Trees. I also fall from a tree. On a poison ivy shrub. Oh the pain! The itch!
- Flowers. For a girl once, I had to fight with bees, thorns and an angry neighbor to get her some rotten plants so she could notice me. And every time I see a flower I remember the heart ache and the thousand natural shocks that flesh is heir to.
- Babies. They yell, they cry, they dirty up and they demand, demand, demand, those horrible little dictators! I can't understand why would anybody like to display those ugly bags of fat to others. Hey! Its your burden! Don't force it in on us as well!
- Lakes,waterfalls,seas. I almost thought I drown in one, I can't be remembered of that traumatic event, my doctor says. Let alone all the times when I got in that the water was COLD and I was forced to put up with the suffering!
- Clothed creations of the Gods. My RELIGION FORBIDS such foul imagery.

So, please, if there is a shed of decency in your sinful soul, please, don't TORTURE us good and traumatized folks any longer.
If you do, you are going to go to HELL and become Satan's little bitch!

snallan · Sep 5, 2008

Amen Ari, AYYYYYY...MEN!

Thomas Bertilsson · Sep 5, 2008

I think - ye'r a crazy so'm beetch, but funny... But what about people that liked the pet rock? That's sorta family, but fits your description of going to say hello to Belsebub.

Antje · Sep 5, 2008

I would like to add to the list images of gear I cannot afford to buy or which I, even if I can afford it, will never be able to slip past my husband. THAT hurts.

Shangheye · Sep 5, 2008

Are pebbles included? I like pebbles...they are pretty small and harmless. Granted they hang around in groups, and that can be quite disconcerting at times, but I have never been hurt by one directly (except when it was offensively thrown at me by a human being.....pebbles don't hurt you, its the people, you know).

On a personal note, I concur with thomas....you need therapy. K

Steve Roberts · Sep 5, 2008

Definitely with you on trees.
If I see one more image of a solitary bare, windswept, twisted tree I might feel an uncontrollable urge to locate it and set fire to it!

Steve ;-)

Greg Heath · Sep 5, 2008

Antje said:
I would like to add to the list images of gear I cannot afford to buy or which I, even if I can afford it, will never be able to slip past my husband. THAT hurts.

Wait till your husband goes on a business trip...it's easier and less traumatic to get in the house. My wife always says..."hey is that new"? Whats that? Three months later. She does this to me too, when I go on business trips. I think it's fair.

Philippe-Georges · Sep 5, 2008

lord arigram,

You forgot an lot more :
- The cars, motorbikes, ships and all alike. They stink, make noise, move, shine, pollute and are expensive.
- The ruins of old churches, castles and abbey's. They are filthy, dilapidated, full of vermin and they always stand in the way for new developments and bigger motorway's.
- The new idea's. The worst of all, they overrule the old ones, destroy conservatism and are dangerous and unknown!

Mea culpa!

Philippe

KWhitmore · Sep 5, 2008

How about those pesky fruit and vegetables scenes? So tempting...and inevitably leads to snacking

nsouto · Sep 5, 2008

attaboy, ari!
you tell'em, man!

arigram · Sep 5, 2008

Shangheye said:
On a personal note, I concur with thomas....you need therapy. K

I've tried that, but the therapists needed therapy afterwards. I was also informed I have been put in some sort of black list.
I've tried priests of many religions. Didn't help because I managed to get them fighting between each other.

Go ahead, list of things that you should be banned because they are harmful and insulting. I concur with the ones you have mentioned so far.
There must be SOMETHING that can be photographed without it being offensive!

And don't forget SINNERS that my Gods will struck you down with furious anger and drag your sorry asses to the deepest depths of HELL!
(mention my name down there, they'll give a discount on the torments)

AutumnJazz · Sep 5, 2008

Ari, what did someone say to you to make you do this?

Akki14 · Sep 5, 2008

In a similar vein, I never want to see pears again. They tramatise me. My first baby tooth lost was loosened up by an offensively hard pear and to this day I cannot eat a pear that isn't squishy for fear they will break my teeth right off!

arigram · Sep 5, 2008

AutumnJazz said:
Ari, what did someone say to you to make you do this?

To me, nothing, nobody.
But during my time in APUG I've witnessed enough incidents of immature, close minded idiots who think the world revolves around them that have forced photographers to self-censorship, sadness and even complete withdrawal and the rest of humanity with an open mind, love of art and belief in the freedom of expression to miss important work.
Just because they can't look away from something that is not shoved down their throats. Just because they are not educated enough, experienced enough, intelligent enough, mature enough to realize that their little world should not force the large, real world into submission.
They are pathetic and there is a special place in HELL for them.
Oh, yes, there is. I even know the daemons there by their first names (only the first because each has atleast a hundred names and I have trouble remembering what I ate yesterday).

PS. Plus, I had to do something a little bit spectacular for passing my 4K post mark.

Pete H · Sep 5, 2008

Pets! Soulful-eyed dogs and cute fluffy cats. I was bitten by our cat as a child, and once knocked over by a dog when I was playing football in the park and I landed on some broken glass and I still have the scar!

And they have fleas!

I'm with you, Ari.

MurrayMinchin · Sep 5, 2008

arigram said:
Just because they can't look away from something that is not shoved down their throats. Just because they are not educated enough, experienced enough, intelligent enough, mature enough to realize that their little world should not force the large, real world into submission.

That was worth reading again!

Please, for your consideration, might you add to the list broken down and rusted cars or trains?

Thank you,

Murray

Vaughn · Sep 5, 2008

Bicycles!!! Dangerous unstable things! Can't turn your back on them! Photos of bikes distract me and while distracted, I am wide open to attacks by the real thing.

Vaughn

Ria · Sep 5, 2008

God, (Yahweh, Allah, your-choice-of-god's-name) is THE CREATOR. Hence, to create anything to to aspire to be godlike. To aspire to be godlike, as everyone knows, is blasphemous. Therefore, ALL photographs, (paintings, sculptures etc.) should be offensive to God.
The good news is that I talked to God about this and She said it would be infinitely preferable for us to shoot pictures than each other.
Ria

naeroscatu · Sep 5, 2008

Definitely people shooting with cell-phones that say "cheese" should be hanged by their feet over boiling tar or even better chase down the ones who manufacture such things. Damn I hate those
I was taking pictures of the sunset (what else) on a platform at 20 ft above the ground (kind of an observatory) when a group of tourists came up using their "say cheese" cell-phones while their kids were jumping up and down on the platform. My exposures were around 30 sec at the time so you can imagine how I felt. My photo-session that evening was over.
I'm with you Ari.

Antje · Sep 5, 2008

Ria said:
The good news is that I talked to God about this and She said it would be infinitely preferable for us to shoot pictures than each other.
Ria

Has She said anything about shooting pictures *of* each other? Because, I don't think that's right, you know. It makes me feel queazy if a lens is pointed at me, and usually, my features distort in unwholesome grimaces, and people point at the little screens on their cameras and laugh. That must be wrong, right? Right?!?

arigram · Sep 5, 2008

And of course,
- As I heterosexual male, I demand that all images that contain females should be of attractive ones and all of males should be of ugly ones as not to hurt my fragile ego.
- As an owner of a cat, I demand that no pictures of dogs should be shown in case my cat walks by my computer and is shocked and traumatized by it.
- As a citizen of the Hellenic Republic, I also state that photographs of all other places, including their natural symbols are offensive to me.
- As a pacifist, I do not want to see weapons or military themed photographs, including army personnel.
- As an atheist, I do not want to see pictures related to any religion.
And of course, I am being a representative of all the people in this planet who share my characteristics.

Aurum · Sep 5, 2008

Birds! Nobody has mentioned them yet. Alfred Hitchcock knew the score, they're scary, and as for Budgerigars...

They're evil little buggers that will mug you for a cuttlefish!

And they all carry flick Knives!

nsouto · Sep 5, 2008

Aurum said:
Birds! Nobody has mentioned them yet. Alfred Hitchcock knew the score, they're scary, and as for Budgerigars...
They're evil little buggers that will mug you for a cuttlefish!
And they all carry flick Knives!

My pet hate is ice-cream-sucking parrots:
Dead Link Removed
(click on image for larger)

This is one of the funniest threads in a looong time.
Thanks, Aristo!

nickandre · Sep 5, 2008

That was beautiful

Aurum · Sep 6, 2008

Clowns Ewww they're just disturbing. No photograph of a clown can ever be wholesome

STOP posting OFFENSIVE images!!!

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