For what it is worth I bought a 2nd hand Stop Clock Pro to make my adjustments in exposures in fractions of stops and used a Darkroom Automation hand held light meter to read skin tones to get my exposures (I photograph people on the street). That generally got me into the ball park, but the calibration setup for the determination of contrast filters was way too convoluted to me so I just used my eye when viewing my first test print. This worked fine for a number of years. Most prints I had two or three iterations to get the results I wanted.
It had occurred to me that for vey little extra I could get the meter attachment for my Stop Clock and turn it into, effectively the Analyser. I have come to appreciate this far and above, as the Analyser has a visual grey scale for me to judge where my blacks, whites and skin tones all sit relative to each other and how incremental contrast and exposure adjustments can affect the overall grey scale LED readouts and hence the print's tonal qualities. I did try to do a calibration setup for this combo but again it was way too convoluted for me to do. I just used the default calibration for Ilford MG IV paper which I was using at the time - it worked just fine. I switched over to Foma MG and checked the densitometry curves that Foma supplied against the ones Ilford supplied and they seem about the same. Hence I still use the default Ilford calibration as supplied by the RH box. I still sometimes have to tweak my prints but now I usually get a good test print first time. Rarely do I have to make a second or third. These, I should point out, are test prints BEFORE I go into finessing with burning, dodging and bleaching etc., etc.
As far as your light source is concerned I can only reiterate what others have suggested vis-a-vis Neutral Density filters (as per Pentaxuser). I would also point out that a xenon lamp puts out light at the "blue" (5000 deg. K) end of the spectrum while incandescent lamps are way warmer towards the "red" (3200 deg. K) end of the spectrum. This may also affect your calibrations as far as contrast is concerned. Unfortunately discharge lamps like this cannot be dimmed with simple resistive load or contemporary domestic type dimmers. They tend to need some rather involved electronics to dim. If your enlarger's lamp house is a diffusion type, you could try to add another layer or two of diffusion filters to knock down the intensity too.
I must second the notion from Sveneden on where the "extreme metering points" are plus the idea that the Ilford defaults are probably a better place to start. These also work for me.
To sum up, for me, I wouldn't get too OCD about all of this but I have found a way of interpreting the greyscale LEDs by eye that gives me the results I desire.
Best of luck though!!
cheers!
Sam