mohmadkhattab
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"Hi everyone,
I hesitated a lot before returning here. I wasn't mentally ready, as I felt a deep sense of moral brokenness. What finally encouraged me to take this step was the honorable Eng. Rodolfo (The Godfather), who told me: 'There are friends waiting for you.'
I want to be clear about my silence: I have been away because I was a political prisoner (political detention). I was released a year and a half ago, but I came out with my eyes closed. The darkness of a political prison is unlike any other; it is a void that blinds you. When you finally see the sun, the light is a shock. You walk with closed eyes for a while, stumbling over stones and falling into pits. That is exactly what happened to me.
I returned to find almost all my tools confiscated by the security forces—my lab equipment, my computer, and my phone which held all my work, my students, and my clients. I didn't just return to 'zero'; I found myself miles behind zero, and I must be very optimistic just to reach the starting line again. My old account on this forum (registered in 2005) is gone because I lost access to the linked Google accounts, and my Facebook group (The Egyptian Analog Club) is now part of history.
Today, I work 12-hour shifts as a night security guard at a Mercedes company just to provide food and medicine for my mother and my family. I don't even own a smartphone anymore; I barely managed to buy a basic 'button phone' for calls. I am writing this message using an old desktop computer given to me as a gift by my Egyptian friend, Dr. Ashraf (an ophthalmologist and a great photographer), who has been a tremendous support to me.
I must emphasize: I am not sharing my story to seek aid or financial support of any kind. My pride as a photographer and a chemist is all I have left. I simply felt the need to explain my absence. There is an old Egyptian song that says: 'I hid my head in its lap, like a child returned to his parents... how sweet it is to return.' To me, this place is that home. I feel like a child returning to his parents; how sweet it is to be back.
I would like to thank the brothers who never forgot me:
It is good to be back home.
mphmad khattab
I hesitated a lot before returning here. I wasn't mentally ready, as I felt a deep sense of moral brokenness. What finally encouraged me to take this step was the honorable Eng. Rodolfo (The Godfather), who told me: 'There are friends waiting for you.'
I want to be clear about my silence: I have been away because I was a political prisoner (political detention). I was released a year and a half ago, but I came out with my eyes closed. The darkness of a political prison is unlike any other; it is a void that blinds you. When you finally see the sun, the light is a shock. You walk with closed eyes for a while, stumbling over stones and falling into pits. That is exactly what happened to me.
I returned to find almost all my tools confiscated by the security forces—my lab equipment, my computer, and my phone which held all my work, my students, and my clients. I didn't just return to 'zero'; I found myself miles behind zero, and I must be very optimistic just to reach the starting line again. My old account on this forum (registered in 2005) is gone because I lost access to the linked Google accounts, and my Facebook group (The Egyptian Analog Club) is now part of history.
Today, I work 12-hour shifts as a night security guard at a Mercedes company just to provide food and medicine for my mother and my family. I don't even own a smartphone anymore; I barely managed to buy a basic 'button phone' for calls. I am writing this message using an old desktop computer given to me as a gift by my Egyptian friend, Dr. Ashraf (an ophthalmologist and a great photographer), who has been a tremendous support to me.
I must emphasize: I am not sharing my story to seek aid or financial support of any kind. My pride as a photographer and a chemist is all I have left. I simply felt the need to explain my absence. There is an old Egyptian song that says: 'I hid my head in its lap, like a child returned to his parents... how sweet it is to return.' To me, this place is that home. I feel like a child returning to his parents; how sweet it is to be back.
I would like to thank the brothers who never forgot me:
- Eng. Rodolfo from Austria: My teacher, my friend, and my 'Godfather.' Without him, I wouldn’t have returned.
- My dear brother Mihailo from Serbia: A wonderful man for whom I have the utmost love and respect; he has always been a great supporter.
- My Bulgarian friend Nikola: Who provided me with all the scientific expertise and support he could.
- Mr. Vova: Thank you for the 'complex simplicity' of the Soviet chemistry formulas that I still cherish. Regardless of any political agreement or disagreement, he is an exceptionally kind man who was always supportive through his great library of Soviet chemistry books.
It is good to be back home.
mphmad khattab
