williaty, congratulations on your journey into C-41. I processed my first sheet of 4x5 C-41 a few weeks ago and am hooked.
1. In my opinion a 100 deg F water stop bath after the developer would work. Not as well as a dilute acetic acid stop, but better than no stop, from a chemical crossover point of view. One suggestion is to use 2 water stop baths at 100 deg F of 1 minute each. This gives a change of water.
2. For my wash steps I use 3 minutes each at 100 deg F with distilled water.
3. I have no experience to offer.
4. Depends on your development hardware, whether it is a tube, drum, etc. For 4x5 I use the smallest Paterson tank, which is around 750ml. So for me that is the answer. The attachment is from Photo Engineer and shows capacities. You can calculate minimum required volumes from this, and make a decision based on your equipment.