I use a home made 16x20 for quite a bit of my work. I am 48 and hope to still be using it when I am 55. I have started "taking better care" of myself with that goal in mind. You can take a look at my design under the Homemade Camera section--look for the posting on BUULF cameras. (Butt Ugly ULF).
As for lenses, I use the Nikon 450 and Fuji 600, both have more than adequate coverage.
I process my big film in Jobo paper tubes with great results. I do, however, use D-76, which is non-staining. I had some problems with lines showing up using different pyro developers. Sandy King has a regement he follows to avoid the lines. He describes it on the Michael Smith Azo site. I am happy with D-76, so I just decided to avoid the problem completely. If I used yro, I would follow Sandy's suggestions.
I use a Reese wooden tripod, which is more than adequate. Sorry, I don't rememer the model number.
I don't know the total weight of my camera, as it breaks down into many peices to be carried. I guess its around 40 pounds.
As for people admiring the camera, I shoot in rural Iowa most of the time and onlookers isn't really a problem. Although I have been accused of shooting for TV or surveying. I actually find I have more of a problem with curious natives when shooting 4x5 or 8x10. I think the 16x20 scares most people away.
I contact print mostly on platinum, but have done a few AZO contact prints. Which ever you do, just make sure your darkroom is set up to handle the big film and paper. Do you have a print and film washer of that size. do you have trays that are adequate? contact priting frame, etc.
My advice is as follows. Going to 16x20 is a lot like moving to 8x10 from 35mm. It takes more time, more effort, a much longer lead time to assemble everything, but it is certainly worth it for certain subjects. Order film early, keep a 6 mo. supply in the freezer and get to know good suppliers--Fred Newman at the View Camera Store and John at J and C.
As for being crushed by the camera as the way to meet the maker, it's probably the second best way to go--first being to get shot by a jealous husband on my 95 birthday. We all have to go some way.