I haven't experienced what you relate. It sounds as if you are split filter printing. Normally when I split print, I use the soft exposure (green light) first to arrive at the exposure I want for my highlights and then the hard exposure (blue light) to establish my contrast.
Are you new at printing? The reason that I ask is that your post seems to be addressing something that most printers with experience would know how to deal with. The soft light (green)will not kill contrast as you indicated provided you adjust your high contrast (blue) properly.
If you know this or know how to test for it, what is the density range of your negatives? If your negatives are of too low a density range to match the exposure scale of the paper that you have chosen then split filter printing will not work very well. Split filter printing is usually most applicable to negatives that have a slightly higher density range then the exposure scale of the paper that you are using.