As mentioned above, this has been covered a lot here. Do search.
My opinion and practice (yes, I work in a darkroom that is connected to a septic tank and have experienced no problems in years) is to save used fixer in 5-gal. jugs. These I periodically take to one of the few remaining photo labs in the area for disposal. They recover the silver and sell it, so are glad to have it.
Developer and stop (when exhausted) go down the drain. Selenium toner is saved, filtered, replenished and reused.
You can work well this way and only have to dump a bit of developer and stop, the two easiest chemicals for your septic tank system to break down.
Hope this helps,
Doremus Scudder
www.DoremusScudder.com