Anton, I think there might be a dirty flash contact in your FM3a, if it works erratically. As suggested in another thread, a good cleaning with alcohol and some "brushing" should clean the oxide layer that maybe has formed.
I think the "TTL metering" expression has been abused by flashes which use autofocus information for exposure.
With your FM3a you have proper TTL metering. A sensor inside the camera cuts the emission of flash light when the exposure is "just fine". So the TTL exposure automatically takes into account the fall of light caused by extension tubes, bellows, filters etc. and also compensates for imprecision in diaphragm closing (f/8 being f/8.5 or f/7.5 so to speak).
This method of measuring works well if your subject is in the region of the frame which weights more for light metering, typically the center of the frame. Now imagine you take a picture, in an ample room, of a dancing couple. You press the shutter when the couple is apart, each dancer being at one extreme of the frame. Between them there is nothing, and the wall is 4 meters behind. The TTL meter will cut the flash only when the exposure is satisfying for the centre area of the frame, the wall, and both dancers will end up overexposed.
Autofocus opened new and different possibilities. The camera can inform the flash about the aperture used, the film speed, and the distance of the subject. This is all the flash needs (in theory) to calculate exposure, just like photographers would do manually knowing the guide number for the film speed, the aperture and the subject distance.
In the example of the dancers above, if the autofocus locks on the dancers, the dancers will be lit correctly, the exposure will be based on the autofocus distance and not on the exposure of the wall.
On the other hand, this is not TTL. This technique would not work with extension tubes, bellows, filters (because it would not know how much is the light fall) and will not compensate for imprecision of diaphragm (because the light is calculated based on an ideal diaphragm efficiency).
Besides, flash guide numbers are calculated considering that flashes are typically used indoor and benefit from a partial reflection of light from a white ceiling.
TTL flash measures light correctly both if you are indoors or outdoors.
"Autofocus" measuring cannot know if you are indoors or outdoors and so cannot figure out a really precise exposure.
I would not exclude, in general, that some producer maybe uses the autofocus information as part of the mix, together with other forms of automatism, to overcome the limits of the autofocus-driven method.
Also, the TTL measuring, like every light meter measuring, is bound to fail the more the subject is dark or bright, i.e. the further is it distant from the 18% middle grey light meters are calibrated upon.
The "autofocus" system is not influenced by the brightness or darkness of the subjects. This makes it an interesting technique for wedding photographers, I presume.
So to answer your post, the working with the FM3a is in TTL mode and the flash doesn't really need to know the aperture, it needs to know the film speed which the camera must communicate (or that you set manually on the flash).
With the autofocus camera, the flash adopts a totally different "strategy" to automate light emission, and it needs to know the diaphragm, and the focus distance, and this is not TTL metering but some producer might call it this way for pure marketing reasons.
Fabrizio