Brought on by another thread: Murphy's Law
Just in case we forget....
T. Orland 's compendium of photographic truths
Being a sampler of morals, axioms, and precepts to which EVERY PHOTOGRAPHER SHOULD EXPOSE THEMSELF
The best scenic views are clearly designated by highway signs reading "No Stopping Anytime".
Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named "Tripod".
The Post Office folds all parcels containing photographs.
Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces.
Lens caps and cable releases can become invisible at will.
Dense negatives sink.
Spotone bottles are designed to tip over when the cap is removed.
Photographers fade faster than photographs.
Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of
subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain
Presidential motorcades work best.
No two light meters agree.
A good photograph cannot be made in Fresno, CA.
You will never, ever receive a N.E.A. grant.
The work "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly.
A new Hasselblad would take better pictures than your present camera.
1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs.
When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed
to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to
photograph their wedding.
Color slide viewing cures insomnia.
On any tripod, only two legs work properly.
Dust spot are attracted to sky areas.
YES, PHOTOGRAPHERS DO IT IN THE DARK... but they have to stop every
thirty seconds to agitate.
Distant objects cannot be recorded with short exposures; light only
travels 186 miles in 1/1000th second.
There's nothing wrong with a 35mm that a 4x5 can't cure.
Ansel Adams had 3 Secret Zones known only to him.
When man creates a sharper lens, Nature will create a fuzzier object.
Safelights aren't, available light isn't, but gadget bags are.
Fast films compensate for slow photographers.
You will always have 34 shots of ASA 1000 film left in your camera when
you go to the beach on a sunny day, ASA 25 film to photograph a cave, and
B/W film for the perfect rainbow.
Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong
lens on the camera for any given picture.
Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas.
A light meter contains 26 fewer calories than an averaging meter.
A butter knife is a useful tool for making adjustments that a camera
store would charge $10 to make.
A camera store will charge $75 to repair a camera that has been adjusted
with a butter knife.
Falling lenses are attracted to rocks.
Sharper lenses won't help, realism is unrelated to Reality
Expose for the secrets, develop for the surprises.
And remember: Silver salts are sensitive to thoughts...
Just in case we forget....
T. Orland 's compendium of photographic truths
Being a sampler of morals, axioms, and precepts to which EVERY PHOTOGRAPHER SHOULD EXPOSE THEMSELF
The best scenic views are clearly designated by highway signs reading "No Stopping Anytime".
Edward Steichen owned a three-legged dog, which he named "Tripod".
The Post Office folds all parcels containing photographs.
Camera straps never fail above soft surfaces.
Lens caps and cable releases can become invisible at will.
Dense negatives sink.
Spotone bottles are designed to tip over when the cap is removed.
Photographers fade faster than photographs.
Financial success in photography is directly related to proper choice of
subject matter. Falling airplanes, exploding volcanoes, and certain
Presidential motorcades work best.
No two light meters agree.
A good photograph cannot be made in Fresno, CA.
You will never, ever receive a N.E.A. grant.
The work "Daguerreotype" cannot be spelled correctly.
A new Hasselblad would take better pictures than your present camera.
1/60 at f/8 is the correct exposure for all photographs.
When your friends finally realize that you are a true artist, committed
to making sensitive and meaningful images, they will ask you to
photograph their wedding.
Color slide viewing cures insomnia.
On any tripod, only two legs work properly.
Dust spot are attracted to sky areas.
YES, PHOTOGRAPHERS DO IT IN THE DARK... but they have to stop every
thirty seconds to agitate.
Distant objects cannot be recorded with short exposures; light only
travels 186 miles in 1/1000th second.
There's nothing wrong with a 35mm that a 4x5 can't cure.
Ansel Adams had 3 Secret Zones known only to him.
When man creates a sharper lens, Nature will create a fuzzier object.
Safelights aren't, available light isn't, but gadget bags are.
Fast films compensate for slow photographers.
You will always have 34 shots of ASA 1000 film left in your camera when
you go to the beach on a sunny day, ASA 25 film to photograph a cave, and
B/W film for the perfect rainbow.
Owning more than one lens assures that you will always have the wrong
lens on the camera for any given picture.
Mounting a photograph is a misdemeanor in Arkansas.
A light meter contains 26 fewer calories than an averaging meter.
A butter knife is a useful tool for making adjustments that a camera
store would charge $10 to make.
A camera store will charge $75 to repair a camera that has been adjusted
with a butter knife.
Falling lenses are attracted to rocks.
Sharper lenses won't help, realism is unrelated to Reality
Expose for the secrets, develop for the surprises.
And remember: Silver salts are sensitive to thoughts...
