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Most useless photographic accessory

Film retrievers work really well. Just remember to wind the film round a couple of times inside the cassette before you insert it.
 
Film retrievers work really well. Just remember to wind the film round a couple of times inside the cassette before you insert it.

That's right, they are a nice accessory for some emergencies (I already needed on a couple times). Have you ever seen a Noritsu Film Retriever? Is a massive ~5kg machine with an oversize synchronous motor and big levers, etc... that does exactly the same as a small plastic retriever, but automatically with the power of Thor, used one couple of times, probably nice for big labs but quite useless in an educational BW darkroom where no one knows what that machine even does.

EDIT: It's the Noritsu model Koki SB-3U, if someone is interested in searching it around.
 
Mido 4x5 film holders...I could not get them to function, and neither could the pro equipment sales guy in the professional photography-oriented store -- even using a dummy piece of film in a well illuminated area, both of us failed.
 
My box of assorted UV filters. I've ended up with so many of them from various eBay purchases and I'm not paying for nice lenses to put a cheap uncoated piece of glass in front of them.
 

@tcolgate ,
I read this about six times before I realized what it was a reference to.
I believe you must be referring to plastic darkroom TONGS (not tongues).
I would agree that plastic tongues wouldn't be of much use ...
 

My wife has a Canon SX720is and I found on Amazon a leather Never Ready case, Un-snaps completely when desired.
 

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Those non-metered prisms they made for the Nikon F and F2.
It’s difficult to imagine abandoning the convenience of coupled TTL metering.