Most dedicated soft focus lenses use uncorrected Spherical Aberrations to achieve that effect. Spherical Aberrations is when the central rays though the lens focusing in a different plane than the periphery rays, resulting in a sharp image with a unfocused image superimposed, and with the correct amount of SA and apodization, you can get a very pleasant effect. The amount of out-of-focus image is adjusted by the aperture (eliminating the most periphery rays) or by an apodization filter (those things that look like a sink sieve) to control the amount of periphery rays. Pinkham-Smith large format soft focus lenses still command $$$$'s because they create a crisp sharp image with just the right glow around high contrast areas, to de-accentuate fine lines - without over-doing the soft effect.
Hasselblad softars are unique in that they contain a bunch of small -ve lenses inside a plane plano resin optical flat. This results in a sharp image (take through the flat) with an out of focus image (through the small lenses) superimposed, and comes closest to replicating a soft-focus lens with filters. However the soft effect does not change with aperture, hence the 3 softars. The resin flat is prone to scratching, and you will find most Softars with visible scratches.
Diffusion filters (like nylons or hair nets) add veil to the image, and generally just lowers the over all contrast which is a different "soft" effect, but can add sunstars around specular highlights.