Nah just do an LVT and be happy!
Well I do have a nutty solution, which involves printing a positive by inkjet directly onto some ortho film. Might work, might not.
Actually, Daniel, why not forget pictorico and find out what is the finest/smoothest glossiest paper you can, something without that pictorico granularity which I guess comes form that ceramic coating or whatever. Print onto glossy and then contact print from that onto tmax. I say tmax because I am thinking that you won't get enough blue light through glossy paper to properly expose ortho film. (OTOH ortho is sure nice to developby inspection when you're playing like this)
If you do that, what might happen is that the glossy paper might effectively interpolate for you by spreading the ink very slightly, and the paper might diffuse the light enough to contribute to that noise filtering. I have seen this effect with dye sub prints- rather low res prints (150 or 200dpi) that nevertheless came out quite nice and smooth. Then, when you go to film, you might see the film grain controlling the overall texture. Might. The effect you get might be cool in its own right.
I have one brief story to relate. I enlarged a fuji 64T positive to some tmax sheet. What happened is that the 64T had basically no grain to contribute, but there was some sort of almost subliminal granularity because it was a pretty big enlargement. But the tmax actually broke that up with its finer grain, that's what I think. I got something that I think is actually quite nice.
Based on that observation, here is my final nutty suggestion: if you intentional push the grain in your final step, that grain might emerge and control the overall appearance and it might work over some range of enlargement. I think what you don't want is for the paper lp/mm to break up your photo and pixelate it in an ugly way. But you might be able to introduce enough grain to sort of mediate that.
I say all this in the following spirit: sometimes things shouldn't be done, but then they are by some naive newbie, and then something unexpectedly cool is discovered. Just experiment.
P.S. One other thought, you might get a glossy inkjet positive made and contact print to film from that. That'd give you, what, 300 dpi on good photo paper and then maybe the paper would diffuse the dots enough to make it credible, or you could insert a thin plastic sheet between the LJ print and the film to de-dot the transferred image.
