From the sound of it what you need is a speed ring to adapt your softbox to your lamp, and with three pins, that sounds like a Bowens S-mount fitting. I could be wrong on that, though, and what you need might well be proprietary to your lamp. The reason I think of the Bowens S-mount is that it is extremely popular, and the closest thing to an industry standard fitting. If the Bowens style speed ring is not what you need, you'll have to bite the bullet and buy the one from the maker of your system. If the Bowens is what you want, there are lots of sources for such things. B&H Photo, Amazon and Ebay are good sources for these. I believe Fotodiox (a Chinese camera gear maker) makes decent quality but inexpensive speed rings to fit these.