Long time photographer as a full time mom

richyd · 2025-11-02T12:56:04-0500

Hi Anita

I’m pleased to see so many encouraging and supportive replies to your post. I can empathise with what you call your ‘problem’ of not being a joiner. I recently came across the term ‘otrovert’ describing this personality style, neither introvert or extrovert but one who doesn’t feel the need to belong to a group. A book on this is just out, ‘The gift of not belonging’ by Rami Kiminski, subtitled ‘How outsiders thrive in a world of joiners’. Perhaps it will ring bells for you and make what is thought of as a problem become a strength.

Maybe to get some affirmation and to show your work you would consider applying to some open calls. The first one I did about 10 years ago was a great boost to me as it provided some affirmation and recognition that my work was acceptable and could be enjoyed by others. I think that if you say your work is about a personal journey that could be a compelling, powerful and interesting portfolio. The prints you have shown here are lovely and one can see in them the care, creativity and your personal input.

May I also suggest you read the biographical works of Sally Mann especially her latest book, Art Work where she lays bare her struggles to get recognised, what to show, continual self doubt, rejection, blank periods, mistakes, all whilst bringing up a family.

Good luck
Richard

MattKing · 2025-11-02T13:21:00-0500

The biggest reason to share is that it turns out to be amazingly fun when people react to what you are sharing.
Even sometimes when they are critical.
You also find out that many are or have been "in your shoes".
I've taken to giving prints as gifts. And its always fun when people like to share them by putting them on their walls.

MTGseattle · 2025-11-02T13:44:57-0500

It's a bold step to jump into an online forum with a self-portrait. There is usually a lot of "stuff" going on when making them. Kudos to you for taking the leap. I enjoyed the 3 images I could see that you have submitted.
I too have the problem in that no one in my close personal circle is into photography as much as I am, but luckily there are other shared creative interests. I would increase my own image sharing on here if I wasn't confounded by my own shortcomings in the digital workflow. I tend to avoid it rather than learning and powering through. Someday.
Welcome to the community.

cowanw · 2025-11-02T13:52:11-0500

Here is my copy of Jean Sibelius as photographed by Finnish photographer Fred Runeberg. I think it has a lot in common with your chosen prints, Anita.

AHL · 2025-11-02T14:45:30-0500

Hassasin said:
I would mostly agree, but also add everyone is different. When a photographer is true to oneself and believes the work, nobody will sway their opinion of own work. But that is not same as saying gearing others comment may not have important impact.

Problem with opinions is that not everyone is honest, some tend to sugarcoat just to be nice, not everyone can actually make a thoughtful comment, even if they are themselves doing well in the field.

Some do well on their own and find other opinions more of a distraction and quit sharing, some actually need others give input.

For @AHL I would say try to share here, see what happens and how you respond, and most importantly take all comments with some grain of salt. By trying, you may come across a person or few you will find good connection with. In that case you can move on to more private messaging here, or connect by others means if it is helpful.

I am very surprised how supportive everyone has been and contributed to this conversation in ways I never expected. All the insight , knowledge and experience (expertise) is truly incredible and uplifting.
Showing them on this site is less significant for me since the windfall of comments and support shown. If only this was real life!
Thank you
Anita

AHL · 2025-11-02T14:49:21-0500

koraks said:
Yeah, at first, but it wears off and it gets easier - you're doing great!

Your photos are lovely. If you would live around here and put up an exhibition, I'd definitely go and see it.

Thank you. I have always known that feedback is not only necessary but vital to growth in any area the problem is thinking you need to be “ready” to hear it.
Sometimes like now, ready is ready.

AHL · 2025-11-02T14:50:02-0500

gary mulder said:
Impressive photos. They give me a Post-expressionism feeling.

Thank you. I appreciate the insight!

AHL · 2025-11-02T14:53:39-0500

Don_ih said:
That's part of the process of making anything. What you keep in your head stays there. What you make in the world will eventually be beyond your control unless you destroy it.

My brother unfortunately destroyed much of his work. My husband was able to salvage some from the garbage. I still have them although he is better I feel they are safer with me.
So sad when someone’s work is lost.
Thanks for the thoughts
Anita

baachitraka · 2025-11-02T14:56:01-0500

that said, do anything without the thoughts about the past nor imagination about the future. Stay in presence and listen what ever it conveys....

...suffering will end.

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:05:22-0500

Hassasin said:
When I went for my first 10k street run, I was full of anxiety, exposed to onlookers I never knew, would I finish, when would that be, would I cross finish line within the participating crowd ? In the end I did a lot better. It did not take long to start doing half-marathons.

First is always that first and it is hard to anticipate impact it may have. Usually it is all good or better.

You know I thought it would be more difficult , anxiety ridden but honestly all of you made it easy! Both technically and mentally! Everyone’s support truly made a difference also knowing everyone on this site has been in this situation.
Thanks for the support.

warden · 2025-11-02T15:20:53-0500

richyd said:
Hi Anita

May I also suggest you read the biographical works of Sally Mann especially her latest book, Art Work where she lays bare her struggles to get recognised, what to show, continual self doubt, rejection, blank periods, mistakes, all whilst bringing up a family.

Good luck
Richard

Great advice. I’m nearly finished with the book and agree that @AHL would benefit from it.

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:35:39-0500

MTGseattle said:
It's a bold step to jump into an online forum with a self-portrait. There is usually a lot of "stuff" going on when making them. Kudos to you for taking the leap. I enjoyed the 3 images I could see that you have submitted.
I too have the problem in that no one in my close personal circle is into photography as much as I am, but luckily there are other shared creative interests. I would increase my own image sharing on here if I wasn't confounded by my own shortcomings in the digital workflow. I tend to avoid it rather than learning and powering through. Someday.
Welcome to the community.

Thanks. I didn’t know what I needed( the feedback and support ) to get me going.
Thanks to all of you and hoping more people take the leap!

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:39:29-0500

cowanw said:
Here is my copy of Jean Sibelius as photographed by Finnish photographer Fred Runeberg. I think it has a lot in common with your chosen prints, Anita.

It’s wonderful that your previous

cowanw said:
Here is my copy of Jean Sibelius as photographed by Finnish photographer Fred Runeberg. I think it has a lot in common with your chosen prints, Anita.

what a magnificent portrait. I am in awe!!!
Thanks for posting it

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:40:53-0500

baachitraka said:
that said, do anything without the thoughts about the past nor imagination about the future. Stay in presence and listen what ever it conveys....

...suffering will end.

Staying in the present is great advice. If only I could enjoy it sometimes! lol!!

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:43:44-0500

warden said:
Great advice. I’m nearly finished with the book and agree that @AHL would benefit from it.

Have seen her early work and especially At Twelve. I have mixed emotions about this work but that is for another time!
Thanks I’ll look up that book and see if my library has it.

AHL · 2025-11-02T15:59:56-0500

richyd said:
Hi Anita

I’m pleased to see so many encouraging and supportive replies to your post. I can empathise with what you call your ‘problem’ of not being a joiner. I recently came across the term ‘otrovert’ describing this personality style, neither introvert or extrovert but one who doesn’t feel the need to belong to a group. A book on this is just out, ‘The gift of not belonging’ by Rami Kiminski, subtitled ‘How outsiders thrive in a world of joiners’. Perhaps it will ring bells for you and make what is thought of as a problem become a strength.

Maybe to get some affirmation and to show your work you would consider applying to some open calls. The first one I did about 10 years ago was a great boost to me as it provided some affirmation and recognition that my work was acceptable and could be enjoyed by others. I think that if you say your work is about a personal journey that could be a compelling, powerful and interesting portfolio. The prints you have shown here are lovely and one can see in them the care, creativity and your personal input.

May I also suggest you read the biographical works of Sally Mann especially her latest book, Art Work where she lays bare her struggles to get recognised, what to show, continual self doubt, rejection, blank periods, mistakes, all whilst bringing up a family.

Good luck
Richard

I think I may be now beyond wanting to show my work. Posting the 3 pics should last me emotionally for awhile. I’m happy to just continue photographing and printing. But seeing the great feedback if I think I need more I will post and get all of you to post your thoughts.
Sally Mann. What can I say. As a mom I wouldn’t have shown such as her photos of my kids I know pushing the envelope can feed growth and create controversy but I draw the line at kids especially mine.
I have photographed nude females in ways my instructors said could not be shown in a gallery , although I disagreed I had adults informed consent. Kids just don’t have that which is why adults and parents should err on the side of caution always. Privately I’m not even sure although personal and family history is extremely important to me in an age where printing pictures has more or less disappeared. What will be shown 20 or 50 years down the road in our personal and family history photos. It makes me sad

AHL · 2025-11-02T16:15:31-0500

MattKing said:
The biggest reason to share is that it turns out to be amazingly fun when people react to what you are sharing.
Even sometimes when they are critical.
You also find out that many are or have been "in your shoes".
I've taken to giving prints as gifts. And its always fun when people like to share them by putting them on their walls.

Thanks for the input. Not sure I’m ready to say goodbye to any of my photos yet. They are a part of me that I need to hang onto. I usually only make 1 print 2 if I really like it. I find it hard to go back and make reprints it’s like reliving my past. Best to move forward.

Don_ih · 2025-11-02T16:17:31-0500

AHL said:
Sally Mann

We had a very long discussion about Sally Mann earlier this year. You can feel free to read through - but it's closed for comments due to it being a very volatile subject.

At Twelve is a book that is much more of an objective social commentary than Immediate Family. The captions in At Twelve redirect your understanding of the photos.

baachitraka · 2025-11-02T16:18:06-0500

AHL said:
Staying in the present is great advice. If only I could enjoy it sometimes! lol!!

Indeed you need an environment and courage to leave some and take some... nevertheless enjoy the present.

Hassasin · 2025-11-02T16:53:13-0500

Sally Mann has been mentioned here. I don't know why. I found it rather surprsing to be polite. I highly doubt this is the right person to be mentioned in this thread. Way too much controversy and lots of work not belonging in public unless viewers are advised what they are about to experience and consent with eyes still closed.

Don_ih · 2025-11-02T18:48:54-0500

Truthfully, you can look at the majority of Sally Mann's photos and find nothing the most puritan of puritans will object to. There are a handful of photos that are contentious and the main point of contention has been and will always be the photos of her own children without clothing.

warden · 2025-11-02T19:57:09-0500

Hassasin said:
Sally Mann has been mentioned here. I don't know why.

Because she’s an outstanding writer who in her new book speaks directly to the creative process and challenges of being a mother while also doggedly pursuing art. The book is about hard work, luck, staying organized, and focus. Sounds relevant to the OP to me.

So now you know why.

Edit:

(Here are chapter titles for those interested)

Early Promise
Luck (in Seven Parts)
Rejection
On Writing
Distraction
Organize
A Thousand Ways
Why You Say Yes
Monkey on a Road Trip
Your Darlings
Challenging Work
Whip, Then Gift

lecarp · 2025-11-02T20:45:19-0500

Welcome!
I think you will be surprised by the amount of participation in topics you've mentioned. It is not uncommon for working artists to have these thoughts, I certainly have and most of the artists I know do as well.
Go start some threads in the forums Koraks suggested, i think you'll be pleasantly surprised.

Hassasin · 2025-11-03T01:04:22-0500

warden said:
Because she’s an outstanding writer who in her new book speaks directly to the creative process and challenges of being a mother while also doggedly pursuing art. The book is about hard work, luck, staying organized, and focus. Sounds relevant to the OP to me.

So now you know why.

Edit:

(Here are chapter titles for those interested)

Early Promise

Luck (in Seven Parts)

Rejection

On Writing

Distraction

Organize

A Thousand Ways

Why You Say Yes

Monkey on a Road Trip

Your Darlings

Challenging Work

Whip, Then Gift

You just assumed a few of things, especially the "I now know why". I will leave at it at that out of respect for the OP.

I do hope @AHL will continue to post new images, at a pace she is comfortable with, as they are clearly worth seeing.

koraks · 2025-11-03T02:08:16-0500

Hassasin said:
I do hope @AHL will continue to post new images, at a pace she is comfortable with, as they are clearly worth seeing.

Absolutely.

And I'd like to take the opportunity to remind us all that this is an introductory thread of OP, not a Sally Mann discussion thread. OP has voiced a brief opinion about Mann; let's respect that and move on. Thanks.

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