Hello everyone!
I'm new to the forums, and have decided to come to share my most recent conundrum. I've been a photographer for many years now, starting with point and shoots as a youngster, moving to B&W darkroom work in college, and having the occasional affair with digital. I purchased a rolleiflex awhile back, but sold it thinking I was getting out of photography--but alas, it keeps coming back.
Lately I've been refining my "style" and what my preferred content is. I've been working on this for years. I used to think of it as a goal with an endpoint, I'm starting to wonder if it is a never ending search that will haunt me for my entire career. That said, I've got something down that I'm happy with for the moment.
I have a hasselblad 500cm coming to me tomorrow, which will effectively replace the Nikon 35mm I've been using. You'd think I'd be elated. I am--kind of. For the first time, I'll have awesome equipment AND a vision/goal that I have a strong desire to execute. Oddly, instead of being happy, I'm finding myself very nervous.
I have no more excuses. I can't say I don't have the right equipment, or that I'm just not sure what I want to shoot. I have it all figured out, and now I have to actually get out there and work.
Perhaps this wouldn't be so nerve-racking if I didn't, somewhere in my mind, except that because now I have great equipment and a vision that 100% of my photos will be awesome and exhibition worthy. I know this won't be, but for some reason it's hard to shake the idea that even with the best equipment and intentions, I'll be lucky to get a good image per week.
In case you haven't figured out by now, I'm an extremely anxious case--and there's only enough Klonopin in the world.
Have any of you felt this way before? What did you do to get over it?
Any advice or reassuring words would be greatly appreciated
Thanks--
TA