I agree with pentaxuser here. Have the negatives optically printed, not scanned, and then look at the results of those photos where the grain is bothering you.
Another option that sometimes works for me, though certainly not as definitive as actual optical printing, is to scan as a negative without allowing the scanner to make adjustments. Then transfer to photoshop and invert the negative back to positive. This can sometimes eliminate some of these scanner artifacts that show up as noise, which a more accurate description of what you are referring to as grain.