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I would have put this in the "Spoof" forum if APUG had one! Lots of food for thought here -- I already have a beard and wear glasses, but mine aren't large enough. Got the Russian camera lenses and lots of vinyl, too!
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/10/world/how-to-be-a-photographer/index.html?hpt=hp_c4
http://www.cnn.com/interactive/2013/10/world/how-to-be-a-photographer/index.html?hpt=hp_c4