Thanks again for all the advice. I don't print in a darkroom any more. When I did I favoured multigrade. Now I'm scanning my negs and printing onto ink jet paper. I understand scanning can cause problems. I'm using 'scanvue' software and 'Photoshop' Am I in the right place for this posting?
It might be best if the thread was marked "hybrid".
That being said, there is a very real chance that your negatives aren't showing "extreme contrast" at all.
While there is some variance, generally speaking a good negative will be both suitable for darkroom printing and suitable for scanning.
The "extreme contrast" may merely be the result of the attempts of the scanner and scanning software (and scanner operator) to interpret those negatives.
May we see a back-lighted photograph of the negatives themselves?