Bags27, if this is the worst conversation you and spouse have had in your almost 42 years together, then you have a pretty good marriage...
Temperature control, of house/apartment, rooms, body and things photographic, is by large the first and foremost reason why I "abandoned" Canada in the early '70s and moved to Australia. Here in the bush, our problems are usually the opposite - cooling things down, a complete reversal of your "problem" process. Either costs money, which I reckon is the defining factor in both businesses.
The solution to keeping your process temperatures regulated and even, which I had until 2002 or 2003, is to buy a Jobo. Look for a secondhand one in good condition, or even better, a Jobo Duolab, which is about the simplest that company made and (usually) not too expensive to buy. You will never, ever look back on temperatures, your results will be entirely even throughout, and you will rejoice.
Otherwise, this thread has been interesting, also very amusing in parts. It's good to see we still have a sense of humor and find things to joke and laugh about in these crazy Covid times...