John--
Realistically, you need some sort of specialized equipment, like a densitometer, or a spectrophotometer (like the X-Rite i1).
Spectrophotometers tend to be *really* expensive, but a B&W densitometer can be had on the auction site relatively inexpensively (I got a *very* good one about 5 years ago for $75). Try to find one that can do transmissive and reflective readings.
If estimating your density to 0.05 logD increments is good enough for you, get a reflective 21-step wedge from Stouffer and punch holes in each step, and then you can do a visual comparison and estimate your density. But this system breaks down the less neutral the blacks of your print are, depending on process. e.g. it would not work at all, really, for cyanotype.
If you don't already have one, definitely invest in a transmissive step wedge. Quickest and easiest way to measure exposure scale...print it in your process, count the number of steps that you can distinguish, multiply by 0.1, and there's your exposure scale in log E units.
Good luck--
Greg