Sounds like you are getting a lot less light then with an SFX Filter. I've been using a flash with a GN of 60 at ASA 100. Four feet at f/4 tends to give me negatives where the subject is of a nice density on the film.
I have this exact set up; I use a flash with an (optimistic) GN of 30 meters, or about 90 feet. I get a decent neg with SFX film @ F.8 at 6 feet, so I think we're in the same ball park. The farthest I can go is about 12 feet at F2.8 (mamiyaflex TLR w/ 80mm 2.8 lens)
Tried the same set up with some EFKE IR 820 in 4x5 and couldn't get an exposure at any range. It would appear that the SFX is a bit "faster" than the IR 820, or its possible I waaay under developed the Efke IR 820 - I dev the SFX in Rodinal 1+50 for 13 minutes, but massive dev charts stated 1+50 for 9 minutes for the IR 820 - I'm thinking I need to add another 4 or 5 minutes to the dev time for the IR 820.
The gelled SFX filter, while expensive, works darn well, The flash is quite visible, however.