After death: What shall happen to our photos?

Alan Edward Klein · Oct 3, 2024

VinceInMT said:
I don’t know about limits to the cloud AFAIK mine is unlimited as my son works for the company that provides the service.

More interesting on this thread topic is the issue of “who are those people in those images?”

I recently spent time with my mother who is 90 and she pulled out a box of old photos that she had removed from the family albums before she threw away the albums themselves in her big downsizing project. Many of the images were familiar but many of them seemed new to me and I had to ask her who’s that, where was this, etc. She has annotated many of them on the back and plans to do the rest. During this I realized that I have very limited knowledge of my family tree other than my parents and grandparents. I’m not familiar with my grandparent’s siblings not to mention all the cousins or where anyone was from. I am mildly interested but have talked to my kids and they have zero interest. Perhaps its because when they were very young (1 and 4) we moved 1300 miles away from family and they were raised with only the occasional family contacts.

My cousins sent me digitized videos of 8mm film movies taken by their father 70 years ago of family. I had to ask who the people were in them as I couldn't remember. Some I knew but a lot I didn't. In the old days with prints, you'd make an album of let's say a wedding or a family party at a restaurant. There would be shots of every table with everyone in the family. Then you put the photos in the album and write under the pictures who everyone was. Who does that kind of stuff anymore? Someone gave me a gift of a photo album for a birthday I had a couple of years ago. There has to be 100 plastic sheets in it. I smiled and thanked them. It's still empty.

Alan Edward Klein · Oct 3, 2024

VinceInMT said:
Well, it depends. I read a lot and one of my favorite genres are memoirs so I decided that I would write my own. I don’t intend to have it published but it’s been a great exercise in writing, not to mention remembering. All those old photos and the other junk I’ve accumulated have helped to tweak the memory and create the stories I write about. In one box of junk I found a wooden nickel from a bar in Spokane, Washington. Wow, did that ever key a memory about a time I spent there on a long motorcycle trip with others. I had remembered the trip and wrote about it but had forgotten this part, serendipity in it, and now it all came back and I am able to include a photo of the nickel in my memoir.

This all might be valuable if we find ourselves in memory care someday.

Odors are like that. You never forget them. I was walking around Asbury Park on the Jersey shore recently where all the amusement park rides and food stands are. The smells of cotton candy, Turkish taffy, rock candy, and the like bring back these warm feelings of the past when I was a kid and visited Atlantic City or Coney Island which has similar smells. I love the word nostalgia. It's root comes from nostrum or nose because remembrances are directly related to things we smell again.

Alan Edward Klein · Oct 3, 2024

Pieter12 said:
Most cloud services will give you a warning when you approach your limit, usually offering you the option to increase the size of your storage. And some have closed down, but once again, letting you know so you can download your data. The box of photos in your closet or attic won't let you know about the photos fading or getting moldy or the insects or rodents eating away at them.

Most dead people don't read their email.

MartinCrabtree · Oct 3, 2024

Alan Edward Klein said:
Most dead people don't read their email.

No one knows what the dead do or do not.

Pieter12 · Oct 3, 2024

Alan Edward Klein said:
Most dead people don't read their email.

If one dies (not accidentally) or becomes mentally incapacitated without writing down important information to be passed along, maybe one does not give a damn about it. And the family, either.

wiltw · Oct 3, 2024

Alan Edward Klein said:
There would be shots of every table with everyone in the family. Then you put the photos in the album and write under the pictures who everyone was. Who does that kind of stuff anymore? Someone gave me a gift of a photo album for a birthday I had a couple of years ago. There has to be 100 plastic sheets in it. I smiled and thanked them. It's still empty.

And if you have no idea who annotated the photos, the context gets lost...Aunt Peggie under a photo...whose aunt in which generation was named Peggy?! Aunt Peggy Lastname? If a family has several generations of Peggies one has to puzzle which generation was in the photo.
My wife has boxes of photos loose in the box passed down from her parents, and if she does not remember who is in the photo, no one left in the family is likely to know know either, certainly not the 4 daughters she will leave behind. My wife's cousins, mostly younger, are not likely to know if my wife doesn't.
At least hardcopy photos can be written on, to preserve such information, but our digital files are a lost cause. Even if a photographer made a database with electronic filename and information like 'in the photos', it isn't permanently attached to individual photos, and it stops working when that database program stops working on more recent operating systems.

VinceInMT · Oct 3, 2024

Alan Edward Klein said:
…I love the word nostalgia. It's root comes from nostrum or nose because remembrances are directly related to things we smell again.

I was reading up on nostalgia a while back and it used to be considered a form of mental illness. From Wikipedia:

”The term was coined in 1688 by Johannes Hofer (1669–1752) in his dissertation in Basel. The word nostalgia was compound of the ancient Greek words nostos (return home) and algia (longing). Hofer introduced nostalgia or mal du pays "homesickness" for the condition also known as mal du Suisse "Swiss illness", because of its frequent occurrence in Swiss mercenaries who in the plains of Switzerlandwere pining for their landscapes. Symptoms were also thought to include fainting, high fever, and death.”

Regarding tagging of people in photos, at least with today’s snapshot cameras, the phone, the images can have the GPS coordinates embedded in them so at least you can find out where the image was taken and when.

VinceInMT · Oct 3, 2024

wiltw said:
And if you have no idea who annotated the photos, the context gets lost...Aunt Peggie under a photo...whose aunt in which generation was named Peggy?! Aunt Peggy Lastname? If a family has several generations of Peggies one has to puzzle which generation was in the photo.
My wife has boxes of photos loose in the box passed down from her parents, and if she does not remember who is in the photo, no one left in the family is likely to know know either, certainly not the 4 daughters she will leave behind. My wife's cousins, mostly younger, are not likely to know if my wife doesn't.

When I was going through those old photos with my mom, one of them was of my dad’s brother who had come home for a short visit while in the navy during WWII. While there he drownd in some kind of accident. It was never talked about and maybe explained why I never saw my dad in water above his ankles even though he was a career navy guy himself. Anyway, the photo had this brother’s, my uncle, full name written out. When I saw that we had the same middle name I asked if I’d been named for him and my mom told me I was. I’m in my early 70s and never knew that and don’t remember ever inquiring how I got that name. What one photo, from long ago, can reveal is amazing. To think that if she’d tossed those out, or I came across them after she’s gone, I’d never found that out.

Pieter12 · Oct 3, 2024

wiltw said:
ANd if you have no idea who annotated the photos, the context gets lost...Aunt Peggie under a photo...whose aunt in which generation was named Peggy?! Aunt Peggy Lastname? If a family has several generations of Peggies one has to puzzle which generation was in the photo.

Well, in the days of the wedding album as a gift to participants, the couple's name and wedding date are usually inscribed somewhere, giving a good clue as to who Peggy might be.

Which leads me to something I can't quite fathom. Today, couples will spend more than I spent on my entire wedding just for the photography. Two or more photographers, shooting both digital and analog sometimes, maybe a videographer. Some photographers start days before the wedding following the bride getting ready almost like an old Life magazine essay, shooting staged couple and family photos beforehand. I assume an elaborate book or set of books is produced that goes to the immediate family, maybe some of the shots are shared on social media or a dedicated website. But it kind of stops there. In the past, many albums were produced ranging in size from the entire wedding and reception to just a photo of the couple, the wedding party and your particular table. They would be sent to the guests, the album size depending on how you ranked in the pecking order. Good money for the photographer selling by the print. And at one time, disposable cameras at each table so the guests could take their own.

Pieter12 · Oct 3, 2024

VinceInMT said:
When I was going through those old photos with my mom, one of them was of my dad’s brother who had come home for a short visit while in the navy during WWII. While there he drownd in some kind of accident. It was never talked about and maybe explained why I never saw my dad in water above his ankles even though he was a career navy guy himself. Anyway, the photo had this brother’s, my uncle, full name written out. When I saw that we had the same middle name I asked if I’d been named for him and my mom told me I was. I’m in my early 70s and never knew that and don’t remember ever inquiring how I got that name. What one photo, from long ago, can reveal is amazing. To think that if she’d tossed those out, or I came across them after she’s gone, I’d never found that out.

I don't mean to be cynical, but what difference could that have made?

VinceInMT · Oct 3, 2024

Pieter12 said:
Which leads me to something I can't quite fathom. Today, couples will spend more than I spent on my entire wedding just for the photography. Two or more photographers, shooting both digital and analog sometimes, maybe a videographer.…

Yep, this is the way. And, the wedding might be a “destination” so everyone had to travel somewhere to get those exotic backgrounds. I suppose the budget version is to edit in a background of choice in post.

My own wedding was less pricey. I got a wedding chapel guy out of the Yellow Pages who made house calls and we were married in my backyard with just the immediate family. For photography I handed my dad my Minolta SRT and asked him to grab a few shots. I splurged and dropped those off for processing at the drug store rather than doing them myself. The prints and negatives are still in the envelope that came back in. And, yes, we are still married.

VinceInMT · Oct 3, 2024

Pieter12 said:
I don't mean to be cynical, but what difference could that have made?

Absolutely none. It’s just one of those things. And that was cynical.

guangong · Oct 4, 2024

Alan Edward Klein said:
I discovered a related thing as I:m getting older (I'm 79). And that is our own lives are cluttered with garbage that we drag along with us through our lives. We;re afraid to let go of them as if they're our right arms even though they have no real importance except in our ego-filled minds. So we create meaningless backups and storage of thousands of photos, most which are copies of copies of copies or have so little impact that even we don't bother to look at them once filed. But we continue to store them and back them up just in case someone a hundred years from now will really care. Dumping them clears the mind although I admit, mine are still in there somewheres.

That's why I suggest to people to make prints now , frame them and give them to family while you're alive to enjoy in the giving and watch their enjoyment when they receive them and hopefully display them in their homes. Especially family pictures which are the ones most people want to see anyway. Why wait? We'll see nothing after we're gone.

That's a very good suggestion. Only 79! You'r still a young guy.

Alan Edward Klein · Oct 4, 2024

VinceInMT said:
When I was going through those old photos with my mom, one of them was of my dad’s brother who had come home for a short visit while in the navy during WWII. While there he drownd in some kind of accident. It was never talked about and maybe explained why I never saw my dad in water above his ankles even though he was a career navy guy himself. Anyway, the photo had this brother’s, my uncle, full name written out. When I saw that we had the same middle name I asked if I’d been named for him and my mom told me I was. I’m in my early 70s and never knew that and don’t remember ever inquiring how I got that name. What one photo, from long ago, can reveal is amazing. To think that if she’d tossed those out, or I came across them after she’s gone, I’d never found that out.

That's a warm story how you were named after your uncle and then found out about it many years later. It's those kinds of things that strengthen family relations. My first and middle names were given to me using the initials of deceased members in my family too. Alan was named after my father's sister Anne who unfortunately died of asthma at around 28 long before I was born. I forget who the initial E in Edward was for.

Alan Edward Klein · Oct 4, 2024

VinceInMT said:
Yep, this is the way. And, the wedding might be a “destination” so everyone had to travel somewhere to get those exotic backgrounds. I suppose the budget version is to edit in a background of choice in post.

My own wedding was less pricey. I got a wedding chapel guy out of the Yellow Pages who made house calls and we were married in my backyard with just the immediate family. For photography I handed my dad my Minolta SRT and asked him to grab a few shots. I splurged and dropped those off for processing at the drug store rather than doing them myself. The prints and negatives are still in the envelope that came back in. And, yes, we are still married.

There's an anniversary gift you can give your wife. An album of your wedding pictures. What a surprise!

wiltw · Oct 4, 2024

Pieter12 said:
Well, in the days of the wedding album as a gift to participants, the couple's name and wedding date are usually inscribed somewhere, giving a good clue as to who Peggy might be.

Which leads me to something I can't quite fathom. Today, couples will spend more than I spent on my entire wedding just for the photography.

At least, with a wedding album, one has a permanent context for all of the people in the photo. Just like photos taken at an event like Paris Olympics. Yet many snapshots are taken in a timeless context...photos of a group standing at Yosemite, one has no idea of what generation (other than my maybe what folks wear), or in a living room or gathered at a dining table, and unless one sees identifiable furniture the context is lost.
I used to work in a department that had 7 guys name Mike, and when someone came in and asked, "Have you seen Mike?" my first response was always "Yes"...before a pause and asking "...which one?" context is important.

I can understand the still photography, I don't understand the videography...who sits down to watch it?!

MattKing · Oct 4, 2024

wiltw said:
At least, with a wedding album, one has a permanent context for all of the people in the photo.

One place I worked a very long time ago had an employee who was spectacularly good at restoration of old photos. His skills with copy negatives were amazing.
But in the addition to this, he was employed to do another type of work, the nature of which turns out to be a fore-runner of sorts.
He was doing a lot of work copying wedding and family photos, and then re-printing them in an edited form - with one or more of the subjects no longer to be seen!
Mostly ex-spouses/ex son-in-laws/ex daughters-in-law I seem to recall.

Pieter12 · Oct 4, 2024

wiltw said:
I can understand the still photography, I don't understand the videography...who sits down to watch it?!

It is all vanity.

MattKing · Oct 4, 2024

wiltw said:
I can understand the still photography, I don't understand the videography...who sits down to watch it?!

My guess is that you aren't a cinematographer .
Video is a great way to share the experience of a wedding with those who weren't able to be there.
Particularly because it includes sound.

Pieter12 · Oct 4, 2024

MattKing said:
My guess is that you aren't a cinematographer .
Video is a great way to share the experience of a wedding with those who weren't able to be there.
Particularly because it includes sound.

In the case of the last two weddings I attended, there was no sharing of the video taken. Maybe with some significant friends and relatives that couldn't attend, but I still think it is all vanity. Those were both big-ticket, extravagant affairs.

wiltw · Oct 4, 2024

MattKing said:
My guess is that you aren't a cinematographer .
Video is a great way to share the experience of a wedding with those who weren't able to be there.
Particularly because it includes sound.

My value proposition is from the perspective of the client. Having attended dozens of weddings over the past two decades (with cinematographers present at all) and having missed a few, too, I have not heard about anyone sharing the videos. No doubt there are cases where granny cannot come due to physical inability to travel, and sharing the video with her makes a lot of sense. It does seem an expensive way to share only in such limited cases; it is likely shared only with the mom and dad of each side of the ceremony, for reminiscence (but, again, how often does it ever get viewed?!) I cannot say that I ever saw my wife stiing to view the still photos from daughters' weddings...they have occasionally been 'run acrossed' and flipped thru, but a video is intentional and not 'run acrossed'

Pieter12 · Oct 4, 2024

wiltw said:
My value proposition is from the perspective of the client. Having attended dozens of weddings over the past two decades (with cinematographers present at all) and having missed a few, too, I have not heard about anyone sharing the videos. No doubt there are cases where granny cannot come due to physical inability to travel, and sharing the video with her makes a lot of sense. It does seem an expensive way to share only in such limited cases; it is likely shared only with the mom and dad of each side of the ceremony, for reminiscence (but, again, how often does it ever get viewed?!) I cannot say that I ever saw my wife viewing the still photos from daughters' weddings.

What a shame. Maybe if there had been physical albums sent to you. On the other hand, when was the last time you looked at your wedding album? And, unless it is on a wall somewhere, a wedding photo at all?

wiltw · Oct 4, 2024

Pieter12 said:
What a shame. Maybe if there had been physical albums sent to you. On the other hand, when was the last time you looked at your wedding album? And, unless it is on a wall somewhere, a wedding photo at all?

We have one physical album, but they divorced and he remains abusive to all. Another two are each in a commemorative box full of photos. A fourth never got around to selection from over 3000 photos taken by the hired gun, so I have a file folder on a harddrive of all that were shot. Of the many weddings that I shot, only one couple ever ordered anything over 8x10, a 24" x 20" print for their wall, and that was a second marriage!

foc · Oct 5, 2024

I have many, many photo albums. One of the benefits of having owned a minilab and shooting professionally.
Yes the albums sit on the shelf most of the time, but last Christmas my son took them down and looked through them.
The loud laughter filled the house as he commented (again) on how we looked 20 or 30 years ago.
We spent around 2 hours looking and talking about the story behind this photo and that holiday snap.

foc · Oct 5, 2024

Pieter12 said:
It is all vanity.

IMO a lot of what happens at weddings is vanity. I shot weddings professionally for 30 years and it appeared to me, that the bigger the budget, the bigger the ego of the couple.

I was getting paid so who am I to complain?

After death: What shall happen to our photos?

Alan Edward Klein

Alan Edward Klein

Alan Edward Klein

MartinCrabtree

Pieter12

wiltw

VinceInMT

VinceInMT

Pieter12

Pieter12

VinceInMT

VinceInMT

guangong

Alan Edward Klein

Alan Edward Klein

wiltw

MattKing

Moderator

Pieter12

MattKing

Moderator

Pieter12

wiltw

Pieter12

wiltw

foc

foc

After death: What shall happen to our photos?

Moderator

Moderator

Privacy & Transparency

Privacy & Transparency